Ms Divine is blogging in the blog

Vacancy - Frank Whaley and Luke Wilson

2008-04-03T17:47:00.000-04:00

Vacancy

The owner of a motel scares and eventually murders his guests. All this is captured as part of a snuff movie. It’s a minimalist film with a simple plot. The girl character in the few minutes of the film was not that interesting. Sometimes its nice when all the characters are tight from start to finish. But once they reached the motel, everything flowed quite well under the direction of Nimrod Antal.. Ha ha, his name is Nimrod. Actually he is Hungarian, so perhaps Nimrod means something else in Hungary.

Nimrod Antal ------------------------ Frank Whaley

The innkeeper is an eccentric evil man played by the actor Frank Whaley. Some might remember Frank Whaley as a young boy in the movie, Cold Dog Soup - another good movie with Randy Quaid. Randy Quaid is yet another under-rated actor, who is more known to be the brother of Dennis Quaid.

Anyway in Vacancy, Frank Whaley is unrecognizable with an odd moustache and sinister glasses. Whaley’s excellent performance as a quiet and vile killer is what made the movie worth watching.

Luke Wilson, whom I first saw in the movie Idiocracy was also acting.
In acting a character, the actor has to bring out what he has inside to play the character. There are many actors who try to play characters, but because they don’t have much of a character to begin with, their pissy-ness and whiney-ness is very vivid on screen, if its not that, then their arrogance is painted all over.

Luke Wilson

Strangely enough, Luke Wilson is NOT like that. He plays his characters quite well. I can thus conclude that contrary to popular belief, being the son of a Texas billionaire does not necessarily make you an arrogant whiny ass…

Of course I conclude each post by stating that if you are interested in finding more about me and my one-lady sketch comedy films, visit my main website www.msdivine.net and watch some of my little sketches and films online.

Happy April Fools Day Everybody

2008-04-01T22:27:00.003-04:00

April Fools Day is a fun day of pranks.
I pulled a little one about ending my show. I honestly didn't think anybody would notice. But I got a handful of people who were quite perturbed to even think that the show would end. Thank you all for your support.

It's tough doing a show, and trying to pay bills at the same time, as all of this can be very time and energy consuming. And by bills, I mean mainly rent and utility bills. But anyway, who knows what the future holds...

But whatever it is, the show will NEVER stop. So remember everybody, your support means a lot to me, even if you can't donate just making the effort to watch it means a lot.

As you all know, DVD's are only $5, its enough to cover shipping but certainly not enough to make a large profit. The DVD's are at this low price because I am hoping that most viewers get a chance to watch it on their Television. It flows better on TV. I put a lot of details, work and effort into my show and sketch films. All I ask is that the viewer watch it attentively, instead of watching it on the internet as a way of passing time.

Television programs are meant to be enjoyed. There is nothing like sitting on a comfy couch and watching a fun show on a decent sized Television Set..

Anyway, folks ...even when I'm a little old lady, I hope you all continue to watch my program and films.

Premium Channels and Tarantino's Sucky movies

2008-03-31T11:21:00.002-04:00

My Cable Company Time Warner offered 1 month of premium channels, to compensate for a slight cable outage.

The deal isn't as sweet as it sounds. My fingers hurt from flipping from one bad movie to another. This included Tarantino's latest movies - Kill Bill, Grind house etc.
What happened? Hollywood does a good job in transforming good directors into products to market flat films to the masses.

But after flipping hundreds of unwatchable movies, I did manage to find a few movies that were actually OK to watch from beginning to end.

I'll write about them in some upcoming posts.

This Great Super Bowl

2008-02-03T21:04:00.001-05:00

It's the Giants vs. The Midgets

or was it

The Cowboys vs. The Indians.

Hahahaa.

Stupid bowl.

It's not even a real ball.. hehehee.

Acumen Nation Interview

2008-01-20T21:01:00.000-05:00

Acumen Nation (Jason Novak, Eliot Engleman and Dan Brill)were musical guests on Ms Divine's Tee Hee Heure opening up for Frontline Assembly during their 2007 tour in New York.
Visit www.msdivine.net/acumennation to view the video Interview.

Front Line Assembly FLA Interview

2008-01-05T17:08:00.000-05:00

Front Line Assembly were musical guests on Ms Divine's Tee Hee Heure during their Fallout 2007 tour in New York. Visit www.msdivine.net/frontlineassembly to view the video, and see Chis Peterson (Decree), Adrian White (Silent Alarm) and an invisible Bill Leeb like you have never seen him before.

Anastasia Roams - They Long to Belong

2007-11-25T13:59:00.000-05:00

Play Anastasia's Diary Entry

Dear Diary,
Today was just regular day in my life as I roamed the wilderness. The wilderness is not as frightening as it sounds. It’s a place of tranquility far away from human civilization.
While taking a stroll I heard a whimpering cry. It was a most familiar sound, but yet I couldn’t quite place my finger on it.
The sound got louder and louder, like an agonizing scream.
Ahhh--- that sound was from a human. It’s been so long since I’ve heard a human that I almost forgot what it sounds like. I peered behind the bushes and saw the human curled up in agony and writhing in pain.
Perhaps the human had fallen in a thorny bush. Thorns can be very painful. In Siberia, I was able to tolerate the thorns in my skin. But I am not the average human and I was convinced this human must be suffering because it was crying so loud.

“Hello human, what is the matter with you?” – I asked.

The human briefly looked up at me and then started to twist and turn in even more agony. I looked closer at the skin of this human. How odd? There were no wounds of the flesh. I concluded that no thorns had punctured the human. Then I noticed a branch of berries hanging above it.
Perhaps the human had eaten some sort of poisonous berry and was suffering from a tummy ache. I plucked a few berries and bit into it. Phhtttt… These were not the poisonous kind!!

The human then got up and and started to walk in circles. Then it dawned on me. This human was new here. It must have left the civilization and now that it is in the wilderness, it is unsure if it would still be persecuted.

“This is the wilderness darling. Nobody is going to persecute you. You are free to be who you are here” – I said.

Upon hearing my words, the human started to tremble with fear. Then it frantically pointed in the direction of the human civilization. I was stunned.

“You want to go back?” I asked.

The human eagerly nodded. How could I have assumed that a human can appreciate the freedom that exists in the great wilderness. After all it is only, I Anastasia that could enjoy the beauty here.

“Go straight and you will see the gates of the civilization.” I instructed it.

The human was motionless.

“Go! You long to belong don’t you? So go!” I screamed.

The human refused to thread thru the wilderness. It desperately needed someone to lead the way. Without a leader, it was confused. The human then started its cries of agony again. The cries were irritating and it wasn’t just me that was annoyed. The birds and other smaller animals were disturbed by this whining human.

I had no choice but to lead the way for I did not want this human’s cries to mar the peacefulness of this beautiful wilderness.

The human walked behind me like an obedient sheep. After walking a few hours, we finally approached the huge gates of the civilization.
This human must have accidentally wandered out of these gates. At this point the human was overjoyed at the sight of seeing its civilization.
Then it pushed me violently and ran desperately towards the gates.

“Yes, keep running you filthy human.“

Humans can be such selfish beings. An alarm went off. This human had alerted its leader that an intruder was near their gates. That intruder was I, Anastasia. Shots were being fired. I headed back to the wilderness. The humans did not follow me for they were too afraid of the wilderness and felt safe behind the gates.

I couldn’t recognize the human I had initially helped, for all the humans looked alike….like walking robots.
They stared at me behind the huge gates. The gates were mounted with shiny barbed wire and this surrounded the entire human civilization.

Why some choose to be imprisoned is something I can never understand. But just as I am questioning these humans they too must be baffled as to why I, Anastasia have chosen to live free.

Anastasia.

View all of Anastasia Video Diary Entries by clicking here

Anastasia Grows - On My Way to Being GOD!

2007-11-09T21:54:00.000-05:00

Play Anastasia's Diary Entry

Dear Diary,
I have deduced a most sensible mathematical equation from my observations. The equation is as follows :- A = B
Just because A precedes B does not mean the 2 letters are NOT equal. They are EXACTLY ALIKE.
Let me start from the beginning so you can understand my logic. I normally don’t mingle with humans but today was an exception. I was tired from roaming and decided to sit down in a cafeteria. The cafeteria was divided into 2 distant groups of humans. The first group was labeled Group A and they all sat to the left. The second group was called Group B and they were seated to the right.

Group A and Group B were enemies. Both felt they were uniquely different – that’s probably why they were on separate ends of the room. I went to rest on an empty chair that was at the side of Group A. I was not very interested in the conversation of the humans in Group A and found staring at my hands to be much more exciting.

I noticed that a good chunk of my skin was beginning to shed. You see, I never really was human… I would wear this human skin when exposing myself in public. I knew if I exposed who I really was, the outrage of the humans would be too much to bear, especially since at times, I get low on energy and am unable to defend myself.

But today I was feeling extra rebellious and was finding these humans to be quite the irritating pests that they always are.
So I happily peeled off a piece of this human skin and let it fall to the floor. Immediately the humans in Group A, started to scream in hatred –
“You are not one of use, go away!”

“Well where should I go?” – I asked

“Go over to Group B and sit with them” – They replied

Hmm… Human logic is full of blunders. Group A does not like Group B. Since I Anastasia was not liked by Group A, the humans assumed I belonged to Group B. What they fail to understand is that I Anastasia walk alone.
Anyway feeling in a mischievous mood, I went over and sat with Group B. This time I started to stare at my legs, for Group B’s conversation was just as boring as Group A.
Again the human skin was peeling off very easily from my leg. This time I completely removed it and held it up to the light…. Human skin is so frail, so weak…
At this point the humans in Group B were appalled.
“What are you?” - They screamed in disgust.

Vomir! Vomir! – screamed another human in Group B

Vomir? What could that mean? This human was speaking in French. It was saying that the sight of me makes her vomit!!
Hahahhaha… Why.. I Anastasia was hated internationally as well.
At this point both Group A and B gathered around me.

“Who are you ?”– They screamed.

“I am not like you.” – I answered.

“What do you want?” – They shouted in unison

“I do no want what you want.” – I answered

My answers puzzled them even more and their perplexity turned into anger. I had incited a war in a tiny cafeteria. As I looked down at these humans, I noticed that they were shrinking.
Suddenly my head hit the ceiling. Then it dawned on me. It wasn’t the humans that were shrinking but it was I Anastasia who was growing..

Group A and Group B were not mingling with each other. There HATRED of ME is what made them BOND!! How typical, they were never that different to begin with.

“What have you become” – They shouted as they stared at my huge presence.

“ Hahahahahahaha... I am on my way to being GOD!!” – I replied

The humans were repulsed at what I said but at the same time cringed with fear as my mere presence loomed over them.

“My existence is GREATER that all of your groups combined!”– I shouted

Being that I was on my way to being GOD, I felt strong bolds of lightening surge thru me. Ahhhhhh, my powers were in full effect. Like the Greek God Zeus I struck both Group A and Group B with lightening bolds.
Watching human squirm and run around frantically just before they die is a most glorious sight to see. Now I understand why Gods have so much fun..

As a GOD, I am not interested in having humans worship me. Humans are like roaches and no one cares what roaches worship.
But as a god, I have the gift of knowledge and that is a gift few have. Anyway my darling diary that was my ordeal today. And as far as that mathematical equation goes, I can safely conclude that GROUP A is equal to GROUP B

Anastasia

View all of Anastasia Video Diary Entries by clicking here

John Landis @ The Pioneer Theater in New York City

2007-10-16T12:56:00.001-04:00

John Landis stopped by the Pioneer Theater to introduce one of his older movies, An American Werewolf in London. He is a very lively enthusiastic and entertaining speaker.

John Landis reminisced about his days in London where you can go to a movie theater and see old roadrunner cartoons in perfect print. Unfortunately luxuries like that do not exist anymore, but it was nice to hear somebody else especially a movie director who can value the beauty and humor in old cartoons and enjoy the experience of seeing it on the big screen.

John Landis and Ray Privett.

Ray Privett is the creative programming director of the Pioneer Theater.
The Pioneer Theater is a small quaint theater located on the lower east side of Manhattan. They show a variety of films that range from underground cult classics to independent films.

My one-lady sketch film A Most Particularly Peculiar Bank Heist was screened in November 2005.

The Pioneer (aka The Two Boots Pioneer) is one of the few movie theaters that actually has a genuine interest in art and film as opposed to many other organizations that are only interested in making profit or following some sort of trend. The greed for money is what kills art...

The Heads of John Landis, Ray Privett and William Lustig (director of Maniac Cop).

This picture of The Heads was my favorite. The seriousness of their expressions look quite interesting. After the flash went off, there was this strange silence. But I was chuckling in my head how strange all these heads sitting together looked like.

I regret not taking more pictures of movie director, William Lustig of Maniac Cop.
I didn't know it was him because I heard that he was driving John Landis and his wife around town. But anyway, I always enjoyed the Maniac Cop movies. The crazy and interesting characters of the bad guys was something that I always liked watching. He also directed Uncle Sam, another good movie. I wish I had shook his hand atleast..
But good thing I snapped that picture of Mr.Lustig's head. It was his head that actually gave me the idea to take a picture of everybody's heads. William Lustig is actually quite friendly and jolly looking. His head also has an interesting shape...

John Landis and Ms Divine

One of my favorite movies is 3 amigos directed by John Landis. I was just a little girl when I saw it, but I remember it so vividly.
Other movies that I enjoyed that were directed by John Landis were The Blues Brothers, Trading Places and Coming to America.

Movies by John Landis that I am looking forward to watch are Schlock (1973), The Kentucky Fried Movie (1977), and The Stupids (1996).

John Landis just finished a documentary film Mr. Warmth: The Don Rickles Project – a documentary about the comedian Don Rickles.

Of course if you are interested in finding more about me and my one-lady sketch comedy films, visit my main website www.msdivine.net and watch some of my little sketches and films online.

Too Obscene for Youtube - The Real Me

2007-10-02T18:31:00.000-04:00

The Real Me - Oh Please Feature me On Youtube

This video was flagged as inappropriate and obscene by youtube. This means that this video will be less accessible to users who are not logged into their system.
There is nothing "obscene" in this video.

The Real Me speaks its mind but this is too controversial for You tube

Freedom of Speech? Ha!

It's now hosted at Dailymotion, let's see how long that lasts..

Please Feature Me on Youtube - Real Me Erotic Ramblings
Uploaded by msdivine

Synopsis
The Real Me raw and Exposed begs to be featured on You tube.
It is important that the Real Me's peers accepts The Real Me.
The Real Me, discusses the Youtube conventions, and the Youtube honors and awards. Acceptance by the majority is of high value these days. For if only a handful accepts the Real Me, then that is doom!
It is important to fit in and be an obediant member of society. Being disharmonious in society is a very naughty thing to do.

Anastasia Buys a Painting - The Killer vs. The Artist

2007-09-23T16:22:00.000-04:00

Anastasia Buys a Painting - The Killer vs. The Artist

Play Anastasia's Diary Entry

Dear Diary,
I just got back from a very interesting expedition. Let me start from the beginning. It is not often that I Anastasia go outdoors. But this was necessary.... You see my collection of knives were not doing so well.
Oh what is it that you are saying dear diary? Oh no darling, my knives are not sick, but they are getting blunt too easily, probably because of frequent use. And it is very frustrating to cut meat with a dull knife. Especially when the knife begins to break when trying to chop a backbone in 2 pieces.

Oh darling diary, I do not mean to beat you like that. But this has caused me an overwhelming amount of frustration. What I needed was a knife with a strong handle and a sharp long blade. It is at the flea market where one can hope to find such an unusual knife, so to the flea market I went.

I passed a stall filled with all sorts of quaint oddities. On top if it was a painting. It was a rough sketch of a rotting corpse against a bright orange background. There was something, very soothing and relaxing about this painting. The artist of this painting was sitting calmly on a chair and looked quite normal, but I sensed from his painting that something was amiss about him.

What has inspired you to paint this? I asked..
“Life” He replied. ”Life is the inspiration.“

Ha ha ha, this answer made me chuckle.
“Why, life inspires some to kill as well.” I said

The artist remained quiet. I could that this was an artist of few words, but his words were reflected in his painting. Thus the only way to converse with this artist was to read his painting. It is his creation that will reveal who he is.

As I stared at the painting, I began to realize that an artist and a killer are very much alike.The artist paints with passion, uses colors to express his emotions, draws images to portray his feelings and news.

Similarly, a killer kills with passion as well. Each stab into the flesh reflects her feelings. Each fresh kill reflects her emotions. Strong emotions are only found in unusual people. Strong emotions are a form of defiance. A defiance against living in a constricted human society.

In the end, the artist is happy and has a sense of accomplishment when he finishes his painting. He has left a deep mark in this world. Likewise, the killer is very happy at each human life, she takes. Arranging the dead body against a bright orange carpet is a display of her accomplishments. She has left a deep mark in this world as well.

In this case, this particular artist has created an image of a corpse while the killer has created an actual physical corpse. Similar creations by similar people. I now had to have this painting, for it had an uncanny way of calling out to me. I paid the artist the full price for this painting. I wondered if I should have haggled, for that seems to be the sort of thing that one does at a flea market. But I Anastasia do not haggle. I knew that if I wanted a lower price for it, all I had to do was take away the life of this artist and walk off with his painting. Now that’s a deal!!

But I knew that would not be a wise decision, for I am sort of eager to see what this artist would paint next. Plus I had other things to buy at this flea market and I needed to save my bullets. You see I carry this shot gun in a large shopping bag, in the event that I REALLY needed to haggle..

As the artist packet the painting in brown paper, I couldn’t help but say to him –
“Do you know that it is the 2 of us have in common?”
He paused what he was doing and looked up at me.

“We are both disharmonious members of society darling…” I said

Without saying a word, the artist handed me the newly packaged painting and as I looked closer I noticed he had a slight smile on his face.
This artist knew exactly what I meant.
The painting of the rotted corpse now hangs in my living room. What strikes me the most about this painting is its bright orange background, for it matches exactly with the orange carpet of my living room on which this dead body lies on

And you know my darling diary, it is not often one finds a painting that matches ones carpet.

Anastasia

View all of Anastasia Video Diary Entries by clicking here

Anastasia's Replica

2007-09-15T21:53:00.000-04:00

Anastasia's Replica - I see Double

Play Anastasia's Diary Entry

Dear Diary,
I have just had the most sinister of experiences, the most twisted of encounters. Don’t be impatient my darling diary, I will tell you everything. Let me start from the beginning.

Rarely do I leave the house but on the few instances that I did, it really was out of necessity. I had eaten all the cheese from several mouse traps. You see the superintendent of the apartment building that I live in, set dangerous mousetraps hoping to kill this army of mice that live in the boiler room. What the superintendent did not know was that every night, I would eat the cheese from the traps. As a result there would be no mice murdered. Aren’t I Anastasia nice?

Nevertheless, I was very hungry and all out of cheese. So a trip to the supermarket was necessary. As I stood in front of the automatic sliding doors, strangely, in front of me, there was a mirror. What idiot puts a mirror in front of the door? Oh dear diary, was I in for shock, for this mirror started walking!! This was no mirror, this was my double right in front of me! Black hair, big eyes – that must be my twin.

Despite the fact that I was directly in front of her, she walked right past me. Perhaps she thought I was a mirror. Interesting…
I must find out who this identical replica of me is! If she looks like me, then maybe she is like me. I can befriend her and then finally I Anastasia can have a true dear friend.

I followed her from a distance, her long black hair swung as she walked. My hair swings that same way. My replica then stopped in front of a large gathering of humans. Now things will get exciting. My twin will bring destruction to this group of humans. I wonder what sort of tactics she has in mind. Perhaps I can help her!

Then to my astonishment, the humans gathered around her and engaged in friendly chit-chat. I was in shock!! How could that be? But yes, she was! The humans were interacting with her in the most welcoming manner. They felt safe and comfortable in her presence.
What could she be possibly be saying to them?

If these humans were to be so warm to my double, then surely they will greet me in similar fashion! Perhaps these humans were different too. They must be free thinking, intelligent individuals… Ahhhh.. finally there exists a good specimen of humans. And I thought there was no hope.

I eagerly ran up to befriend these humans.
“Hello humans, how are all of you doing today? I am Anastasia.” I greeted them.

The humans stared at me, but this was not the warm stare I expected. This was an icy cold angry glare. Then they started to roll their eyes at me…..up and down and all around.

A glob of spit landed on my face. The humans were gearing themselves in attack mode and were spitting on me!! How could they be so disgusted at me, but yet embrace my exact replica with such a warm welcome?

I was in no mood to ponder the logic of these humans, so I used my pocket grenade to get rid of them. Oh darling diary, I know what you are thinking, what on earth is a pocket grenade? Well it is a small explosive that can blow up about 12 people. And its tiny enough to fit into my pocket. Sort of like a pocket calculator but more efficient. After all a pocket grenade is very handy in getting rid of slimy eye-ball rolling humans.

I continued on my trip leaving behind a scene of carnage. Fresh human meat never smelt so good…..
My replica was still ahead. As I watched her, I felt a powerful rage come over me. How dare does a duplicate of me conform to these ugly humans. Betrayal! Betrayal! Betrayal! Betrayal!
I must get rid of my twin. It’s an embarrassment to have a twin that mingles with the enemy.

I pulled my hunting knife out and pounced on her. Now we were face to face. Just as I was ready to cut her heart out, I noticed something very different in her face. She had no expression on her face. In fact, whatever expression, she could have was very restrained and controlled. Then she started to speak. Her voice was similar to mine, but not quite. Her words were useless pathetic words. Insignificant words never have real meaning.

I felt pity for her. Why, the only reason that those humans liked her was because she was a slave just like them. She abided by their rules. Even her eyes can be wild like mind but she had chosen to constrain herself and be an obedient member of society. It was her choice to be a slave.

Hmmm…. I wonder how she will react to me? Could she be as disgusted towards me as I am of her? To my amusement, she was 10 times as disgusted and flabbergasted by my presence! She stared at me in disbelief. Probably shocked that an identical version of her can be so strange, so unusual, so bizarre. And most of all, I was no one’s slave. The crucial difference between her and I was that she was born to follow and I was not.

Her disgust at me made me laugh…. Ha Ha Haha.. I laugh like a jackal. I will let this silly fool live. She can live the rest of her life in uncomfortable pain knowing that an exact replica of her, will never give into the restrictions and constraints of human prison society. And that exact replica is I Anastasia.

Anastasia

View all of Anastasia Video Diary Entries by clicking here

The Girlio Shop

2007-09-14T13:13:00.001-04:00

The Girlio Shop is now open.

It's filled with lots of goodies from handcrafted earrings and necklaces that range from casual to sophisticated styles all designed by Girlio herself.

So whatever your event maybe you, you can be sure to spot something you like from her cute little shop.

Visit www.girlio.com to find out more about Girlio

Anastasia is Abandoned

2007-06-04T12:12:00.000-04:00

Anastasia is Abandoned - "The Sweet Song Bird"

Play Anastasia's Diary Entry

Dear Diary,
So much has happened since I’ve last spoken to you. I shall now update you and tell you everything that has happened in my life, including my deepest and darkest of secrets.
As I was going about my usual activities one of which included measuring each strand of my hair, I felt a pair of gentle eyes watching me. I turned around only to see that these eyes belonged to a little bird that had perched itself quite comfortably on my window sill.

This bird had a most unusual appearance. It was covered with velvet-like blue feathers. Upon taking a closer look, I noticed that some of its feathers were fluorescent.
Hmm…. How remarkable! It is not often one sees a bird that glows in dark. It even had a few feathers missing from the top of its head.
Perhaps it lost it in some battle. I couldn’t help but admire this handsome bird. It must have belonged to a rare species of bird that was believed to be extinct, for I had never seen a bird as exquisite as this before.

Days passed and this lovely creature would continually watch me with its gentle eyes. And soon I incorporated its visits in my daily routine. Then one day, this bird opened its beak and started to sing. Oh dear diary, I was so surprised. Never have I heard such lovely singing before. This birds singing emanated from deep within its soul.

Happiness is something that is so foreign to me, but I Anastasia actually felt happy to hear such glorious melodic tweets. I tried to open my window just so that I can touch this handsome bird, or even let it fly in my room a bit. But the window was rusty and jammed shut!! I tried very hard to pry the window open with this metal crowbar, but it just wouldn’t budge.
But, the bird never stopped visiting me and would faithfully perch itself on my window sill flooding my ear drums with beautiful song.

What a lovely tweet this sweet song bird had. I soon developed an unusual bond with this bird and regarded it as my new special friend.
One day, the little bird stopped singing!!! I dropped all my activities and ran to the window sill to see if someone had harmed my song bird. The bird was motionless and as I looked closer, I could swear it had a tear in those gentle eyes.

“Why do you not want to sing to me anymore, my darling?” I asked.

The bird ignored me and to my surprise swiftly turned around and flew off into the sky, without even bidding me goodbye. The abruptness of this birds departure struck me like a rock smashed on my head. That’s how stunned I was.

“Come back, little bird, come back!” I screamed, but the bird still kept on flying.

I then realized that perhaps it was the window that had discouraged the bird. We were close to each other but still separated at the same time.
Without hesitation, I smashed the window with my metal crowbar. The unpleasant sound of shattering glass is something that made my ears so sore.
Nevertheless I climbed out of the window and stood barefoot on the ledge, that was now covered with broken glass.
My feet started to bleed but I did not care. I wanted my sweet song bird back.
The bird was still visible in the sky.

“Why? Why have you abandoned me? Why? Why have you abandoned me????”

This I screamed 10 times each shout louder than the last one until my voice was hoarse.

The bird paid no heed to my desperate shouts and flew on its own way without even looking behind.
The feeling of abandonment gnawed my insides. The thought of this song bird perched on the window sills of others and singing into the ears of others made me cringe with bitter anger!

This song bird belonged to me and the only window sill it is allowed to sit on is mine!
To put it simply if I cannot have this song bird, then no one can have the privilege of this bird perching on a their window sill.

Preparing a poisonous bait is a very enjoyable process. I obtained the most succulent of fresh fruit and injected each fruit with sweet poison. I bought the highest quality bird seed and blended it with silky powdery poison. The poison was not concentrated to kill but enough to render the song bird unconscious.
Once unconscious, I planned to cut its wings of with my new pointy scissors. And we all know a wingless bird can never abandon me again……..
And as a double precaution, I planned to lock this wingless creature in a cage I had recently acquired.
Now this song bird can sing for me and me alone!!!

Oh dear diary, I felt so proud of myself. What an elaborate ingenious plan, I Anastasia had constructed. I placed all the freshly prepared bait on my window sill and waited in eager anticipation of this creatures arrival.
While waiting, I stared at my shiny scissors and imagined all sorts of angles to cut this birds wings off with!
Just when I decided a 45 degree angle would be most appropriate, I looked at my reflection in the blade of the scissors and wondered -
How could I imprison the one thing that made me feel so free?

I started to doubt my actions. I had killed and tortured many before, during my days in Siberia. But that was different; I had to kill those ugly humans, because their mission was to imprison me. If I captured this bird, then I would be no different than those humans who tried to make me their slave.
I felt ashamed of myself. How could I have come up with such a foolish plan?
I disposed of all the bait, cleaned my window sill and placed a small flower pot on it.
I miss this little song bird for up to this day, it never has returned. I still shudder each time that feeling of abandonment passes thru me……..
But how could I Anastasia expect to have this bird come back to me?
After all, it was I who did have evil thoughts against this sweet song bird. It was forced to abandon me for my cold life would not be a good home for it.
And we all know that tropical birds survive best in warmth and sunshine.

But at least I still have fond memories of this sweet song bird. In fact its melodic tweets play in my head everyday like a magical record player that never stops.
During my days in the Siberian prison there used to be an old rusty plaque on the wall that read -
If you love something set it free, if it comes back its yours and if it does not, it never was.
I never did like that saying but the only way I will know how true that is, is when I am lying on my deathbed.
And if then that sweet song bird does come back to me, then at least I can die knowing that it did belong to me.

Anastasia.

View all of Anastasia Video Diary Entries by clicking here

Pet Food Recall

2007-04-21T13:47:00.000-04:00

Yet again there is another Pet food recall and many pets are dying after consuming commercial pet food which happened to be contaminated by poisoned ingredients from melamine (a chemical used in fertilizers) and rat poisons. Items which accidently entered the pet food process. Please click here to read more information about this PET FOOD RECALL on my Feline Beauty page.

Feeding your animal companion a fresh food diet is the most healthiest way to go as the Pet Food Industry is a greedy industrial giant that couldn't care less about the welfare of your pets as they are too busy trying to maximize their profits.

To read more about a holistic approach to animal care, please visit my site Feline Beauty.

Anastasia Seeks Solitude

2007-04-20T21:27:00.000-04:00

Anastasia Seeks Solitude - Dark Film

Play Short Experimental Film

"Oh My Ear - Diary Entry"

Play Diary Entry

Dear Diary,
I had the most unusual experience and now that I am in good spirits, I can tell you everything that happened. I normally put in 12 hours of sleep everyday. However on the 6th hour of my slumber, I awoke to a severe throbbing pain deep inside my ear. Pain is something that I Anastasia, am used to.

After living many years in the cold hearted land of Siberia, pain means nothing to me!! It is just a mere passing nuisance. But this pain in my ear was most unusual. It has been going on for too long as you can see…… I have been missing valuable hours of my beauty sleep.

Unlike other humans who enjoy having their problems fester, I Anastasia have been trying to find the root of my problems. Once I find what causes the pain, then I can easily come up with a solution to eliminate it.

I began to suspect that an insect might be living in my ear. The throbbing pain was accentuated by a painful pricking. I equated this to a parasite with sharp claws. This parasite was happily running and jumping and gleefully biting my ear whenever it felt like it. How dare this pest invade my ear?

A parasite as ugly as that obviously did not need 12 hours of beauty sleep! No wonder it insisted on waking me up on the 6th hour of my sleep.

I must find a way to bring death unto this insect, that lives deep inside my ear. I need a sharp weapon of some sort. Hmm… A pointy lead pencil can come in very handy. Not only is it very easy to obtain, but a pointy pencil can do more damage than a sharp knife.

One night while the insect was sleeping, I took this sharp pencil and plunged it into my ear. Hahahhahahaa… I knew I had this parasite cornered as I felt the pencil travel deep inside my ear.

Finally I can be free or a tleast so I thought. After stabbing it multiple times. I pulled the pencil out to look at my victory. Oh darling diary, as I stared at the pencil, I realized that I, Anastasia had made a dreadful mistake! There was blood on the pencil and that blood was my blood. There was no parasite living in my ear!!
This sickening realization made me feel very, very, very low…

Now my ear was in twice as worse shape as before and I still was unable to figure out the problem. But I Anastasia was not going to get beat.
Unlike most humans who enjoy swimming in the pus of their self-inflicted wounds, I Anastasia was going to find a solution to this problem.
Again my ear started to throb. This time I started to hear noises like human voices. I was too distracted by the pain that this noise caused, that I never realized that the noise was actually human voices coming from outside.
The humans that passed by my window were always engaged in some sort of meaningless conversation. Oh what an ugly noise it is that these humans make? Why were they given the gift of speech?

Now the solution to my problem became quite clear, what I needed so desperately was solitude. Mmm…. The luxury of solitude… What a great privilege to have.
In order to seek this wonderful comfort of solitude, I must stop the human noise.
A loaded shotgun can get rid of these humans. But I don’t think I have enough bullets for there are too many humans. And of course bullets can be very expensive.

Aaah! The solution was even more simple than I had thought. All I needed were 2 soft balls of cotton to be placed in my ears. And this is exactly what I did.
The majority of noise disappeared. Everything, except for the postman who knocks on my door to deliver mail. But that problem was also solved. I left a note for him. It read “Anastasia no longer lives here”. Since then, I have never heard the knock of the postman again.

Oh dear diary, I cannot describe to you how happy I feel. This gift of solitude is so quiet, so peaceful and so warm. It’s the most beautiful and glorious thing one can have. It’s truly the gift that keeps on giving.

Anastasia

View all of Anastasia Video Diary Entries by clicking here

Publicists and PR People

2007-03-16T12:24:00.000-04:00

Publicists, PR people and agents that claim to represent artists, are one of the most ignorant groups of people. They have NO understanding of alternative independent media, and are too stupid to realize that underground Local Newspapers, Public Television, Internet sites, can actually "publicize" the artists that they represent.

These retarded PR people grovel towards mainstream media. Doing this, gives more power to mainstream media who are only interested in making that artist a commodity while showing a complete disrespect for the artist at the same time.

The best way for an artist (a talented one) is to independently manage themselves without listening to the bad advice of PR people.

Essentially, having a PR person manage an artist's publicity is like throwing away whatever last hope that artist ever had for any real publicity. Thus the word “publicist” is an incorrect word. The correct word for a publicist is Ignoramus.

Anastasia Evolves

2007-02-22T21:17:00.000-05:00

"I am Reptile, Hear Me Spit!"

Click here to play Video Diary

Dear Diary,
Something very sinister has happened to me, I cannot be certain as to how long this has been going on. But let me start from the beginning.
It all began when I was taking a stroll on a very cold windy afternoon. I began to feel a strange sensation in my feet. I was having difficulty walking but wasn’t sure why. I brushed the matter off for I was in no mood to dwell on such a pesky discomfort.

As I walked by a group of humans, I noticed that they all stared at me. Not in a friendly manner like how neighbors who borrow cups of sugar from each other would. But these penetrating gazes were different so I stopped and looked back at them. Oh dear diary, I don’t know how to describe what I saw but it was highly unpleasant. These humans had shock and disgust written on their faces. Could it be that it was me who they were disgusted at?

The leader of this gang of humans screamed –

“Get Get out, get out you freak!”

The other humans started to applaud. They felt happy that their leader had spoken. I on the other hand was rather surprised. How did they know that I was not one of them?

I possessed all the features that a normal human would. But yet they were able to sniff me out just as easily as I knew that they were not one of my kind!

As the applause grew louder, my feet started to hurt oh so badly and I tripped. The leader of the gang was now very excited and exclaimed gleefully –

“The Freak has tripped”

I looked down at my feet only to be twice as shocked as I was before. Oh dear diary, I do not know how to tell you this. But I no longer had regular toes attached to my feet. Instead I had green scaly claw-like toes. It was these new green scaly toes that were giving me so much difficulty in walking in an upright position.

This gang of humans noticed all of this. However their faces displayed a series of expressions of which I found to be rather peculiar. The expressions were as follows:
Shock – anger – fright – anger – hatred – fright – shock

Despite the fact they obviously outnumbered me, these humans were afraid of me! I realized it was my unconventionality that frightened them; my dare to go against their routine shocked them, and my defiance against their society that angered them.

After all, how did I manage to live in this human society for so long without ever succumbing to them? But alas they were very aware of my existence. They knew it was important to put an end to me for my existence was a threat to them.

As they surrounded me, I began to feel sharp pains in my back that brought me crashing to the floor.
The leader of the gang happily exclaimed –

“ The Freak has fallen!”

As I lay on the floor, I realized that I was no longer human. I had mutated into a strange reptile-like creature. I was quite shocked by the transformation. I knew I was different but never realized that the difference would start to show physically. It was not very obvious that I was not one of them. Whatever creature it is that I mutated into, is in fact the next form of higher life.
And the only way that I can preserve myself is to get rid of these humans that want to make me extinct.

The leader of the gang rushed forward to stomp me with his heavy boots.

Getting rid of a creature that humans cannot understand seems to be somewhat of normality in this society.

I started to scream but no words came out. Instead a blue venom-like liquid shot from my mouth and landed on the leader who fell immediately to the floor lifeless.
Hahahhahaha… This mutation that I am undergoing obviously has some fantastic benefits.

Using my new mutation, I sent shots of blue venom to the remaining humans who came tumbling to their feet. As I stared at the lifeless humans my body changed back into a human shape and I was once again able to walk properly. I had the uncanny ability to switch back and forth.

I shall continue my existence in this human society. Though I do hope that I will be able to pass on this new mutation.
After all in order for individuals to be accepted, society must evolve.

Anastasia

View all of Anastasia Video Diary Entries by clicking here

Gary Numan Video Interview

2006-11-12T22:06:00.000-05:00

I completed an hour video interview with the artist Gary Numan during his jagged tour.
This interview is available online at my site www.msdivine.net/garynuman Check it out, it also has many concert pictures of him performing live at Irving Plaza.

I alread aired this 1 hour interview with Gary Numan for my show Ms. Divine's Tee Hee Heure on qptv. If you are a resident of queens and you missed let me know for I will schedule it again.

Here are a few video stills from the interview. Gary Numan is a very pleasant person to speak with. The video interview covered a variety of topics, ranging from his latest album Jagged,his music, his family, cartoons and his pilot hobbies.

Anastasia's Love

2006-10-08T21:29:00.000-04:00

"The Strange Creature"

Click here to play Video Diary

Dear Diary,
Something very disturbing has taken place. A few nights ago, a mysterious creature with pointy ears appeared before me. Before I could say anything it started to speak.
It said -
"The greatest love that you can ever have is the love that you can never have.”

This is what it said to me 3 times.
How did this creature come across this piece of information! Why is it telling me this?
Again it chanted -
"The greatest love that you can ever have is the love that you can never have.”

Who gives this creature the right to speak? Not I. Shut up, you ugly beast. Go Away!

The creature refused to obey me and its chants only got louder and louder.
"The greatest love that you can ever have is the love that you can never have.”
"The greatest love that you can ever have is the love that you can never have.”
"The greatest love that you can ever have is the love that you can never have.”

Why can’t it stop? It’s voice started to make my head pound. My head was this creature’s new drum and it had obtained great pleasure from brutally pounding on my head. Again it screamed in a mocking tone
"The greatest love that you can ever have is the love that you can never have.”

Oh, dear diary, I know you feel great pity upon me. Even I felt sorry for myself. How could this creature be so cruel to someone as innocent as me?
I realize that perhaps this creature wasn’t pure evil. It was its tongue that was the true criminal. Again this evil tongue squealed -
"The greatest love that you can ever have is the love that you can never have.”

But this time I was ready..... I grabbed one of the burning candles near my night-stand and shoved it in its mouth. The creature was dumb-founded and shocked. It tried to scream again -
"The greatest love that you can ever have is the love that you can never have.”

However its mouth was on fire and its evil tongue turned into black ashes.
Haahaahahhahhaha… Do you think you can torment I, Anastasia and continue to exist in harmony?

The creature slowly blinked at me. It must have been in pain. After all getting one’s tongue burnt off is not a pleasurable experience.

Now that the creature no longer has an evil tongue… well actually it has no tongue at all.. Anyway, I have decided to keep this creature as my pet. Its’ rough green scales is something that has sparked my interest.

For now, this creature lives in my closet, though I plan to buy a steel cage for it to dwell in.

I know what you are thinking dear diary. Why did it choose to say those evil words to me?
"The greatest love that you can ever have is the love that you can never have.”

I suppose that is something that I will never know for this creature can no longer speak.

Anastasia

View all of Anastasia Video Diary Entries by clicking here

Front 242 on Public TV

2006-09-19T22:21:00.000-04:00

3 people at a Nitzer EBB show at Irving Plaza (Sept 17, 2006), NY recognized me from the Front 242 interview that I did for my sketch comedy show Ms. Divine's Tee Hee Heure that aired on Queens Public TV.

One person said that he was flipping the TV channels and then said "Hey that's front 242 on TV". Yay!!!

Public TV is a very good outlet to watch if you want to see something different that's not the generic mush you normally see on regular TV.

Kudos to Front 242, for making themselves available to alternate underground media sources..

If you are interested in the video interview, it is available online by clicking here. Or if you are a resident of Queens, or Manhattan let me know, and I can re-run the Front 242 interview for all to see.

The Little Mouse

2006-08-25T22:27:00.000-04:00

A little mouse crept out from under the dishwasher and headed towards the leftovers that were sitting on my cat’s plate. The cat was taking an afternoon nap in another room.
“AAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!” I screamed. The little mouse froze, glanced at me, made a quick U turn, only to have its back legs wobble and skid on the kitchen tiles, as it hastened its way back underneath the dishwasher. Goodness!!

I was working on my latest sketch film, and was stuffed with pillows for I was busy playing the fat police inspector Lt. Ox Malford.
Could the mouse have been secretly watching me? I wondered.
Oh well back to work!
The house was a mess, for I had moved all the furniture to one side of the room and laid out the garbage bags as part of the set.

Suddenly, the little mouse scurried past me and headed towards the TV cabinet.
“Hello what do you think you’re doing?” I shouted.
This time the mouse wasn’t the least bit scared of me nor did it make an attempt to run faster. Some nerve! I thought.

Bit I didn’t have time for this little mouse. I was huffing and puffing for I had just finished a scene where I had to roll off the table with my legs up in the air.
While I was adjusting the camera, the little mouse crawled out from underneath the cabinet, rested its 2 paws on a wire and sat back comfortably still watching me.

Our eyes met…. The little mouse was very excited. I think it was observing me for a while and found what I was doing to be quite fascinating and thus wanted to sit and watch me like a TV!!
I tried to videotape the mouse but the spotlight being on it, must have made it uncomfortable for it ran back underneath the cabinet.

Unsure of what to do, I ran to call my cat. But my cat didn’t have any intention of arousing from its nap for it probably thought all my screaming was just another regular afternoon where I am busy working on my film.

I then continued filming. I am relieved that the little mouse never got caught. Even know when I remember how our eyes met, my heart melts to think that this mouse found me so entertaining that it abandoned its fear of humans and perched itself to watch me.

That’s the most sincere form of flattery that I have ever gotten and definitely the best compliment a girl like me has gotten….

Here are some video stills of that days shoot.

Anastasia Feels Constricted

2006-08-11T21:09:00.000-04:00

"The Low Ceiling"

Click here to play Video Diary

Dear Diary,
Something very strange has taken place, something that defies all sense of logic. As I went about my daily routine tasks, one of which includes staring at air, I made the most peculiar observation. The ceiling of my apartment was low, lower than usual. How could that be? Can a ceiling just move so quietly all by itself?

I know what you are thinking my darling beloved diary. You think I imagined it? Anastasia may have a good imagination but that does not mean she imagines things!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I apologize dear diary; I did not mean to beat you so badly.

Let me reason with you so you can understand where it is that I am coming from.
My ceiling was initially 12 feet above ground. Every week the ceiling has been lowering itself approximately by 1 foot. How do I know this you ask?
You see I do these breathing exercises that require me to jump very high in the air with my hands raised. I used to jump so freely without my hands touching the ceiling. But then after a while my hands began to slam the ceiling.

At first I didn’t think anything of it for I assumed that I was getting very good at jumping high. But then came a time, when I could barely raise my hands without slamming the ceiling.
I knew something was wrong but I didn’t want to tell you, my dear diary.
But today the situation is getting worse; the ceiling has gotten much lower. Now my head touches the ceiling!! Lifting my hands impossible…

I can still manage to move around but only in a very hunched position. I can no longer stare at air for I have no space.

I need to find out who lives above me. The residents upstairs must the ones who are pushing the ceiling down on me. How they do it, I will never know..
But for every problem, there must exist a solution. For if there is no solution then I choose to no longer exist.

I think this heavy second-hand rifle that I have acquired is going to solve my problem. Despite the fact that the barrel is rusty, it still is in excellent condition.
I shall start shooting the ceiling 3 times a day. In this way, I am bound to end the existence of whatever creature it is that is trying to push this ceiling down upon me.

The good thing to all of this is that each gunshot will create large holes in the ceiling. And if I keep shooting at a continuous rate, I soon shall have a giant hole for a ceiling.
Thus my apartment would now be twice the height than it was before. My new ceiling will be the ceiling of the apartment above me.

I can once again resume my daily tasks.
Not only can I freely jump again but I will also have twice the amount of air to stare at….

Anastasia

View all of Anastasia Video Diary Entries by clicking here

Lloyd Kaufman of Troma - Interview

2006-06-30T11:51:00.000-04:00

I conducted a pleasant interview with movie director, Mr. Lloyd Kaufman(The Toxic Avenger, Class of Nuke em High) of Troma Entertainment for my cable access show, Ms. Divine's Tee Hee Heure. He was promoting his latest novel "The Toxic Avenger". This interview will be airing on Queens Public TV and Manhattan Network TV.

Lloyd Kaufman Interview available at www.msdivine.net/troma
Don't fret if you don't have access to these channels. You can view the full video interview at my site in the artist interview section at www.msdivine.net/troma

Lloyd Kaufman Video Interview on QPTV and MNN TV:
The video interview will be airing on Queens Public Television.
Name of Show: Ms. Divine's Tee Hee Heure
Lloyd Kaufman's interview Part 1 will air July 3rd, Monday @ 8:30pm on Channel 34
Encoring again at July 5th, Wednesday @ 1:30pm on Channel 56

Note: If you have regular cable then you have access to these channels. Tune in to support it.

If you live in Queens or Manhattan, visit my website at www.msdivine.net to find out when all 3 parts of the interview airs or email me for times.
I will also be airing some footage at Lloyd Kaufman's book signing at Barnes and Nobles and the Troma after party.

Anastasia Observes The Observer

2006-06-12T12:16:00.000-04:00

"The Observer"

Click here to play Video Diary

Dear Diary,
I have some rather strange new observations to report to you, my darling beloved diary. I have observed a pair of eyes watching me. At first I didn’t pay any attention to it. I assumed that it was just one of those random pair of eyes that come and go. But then I noticed the pair of eyes began to observe me in a more consistent manner.

Now mind you, I have never seen the actual pair of eyes that observe me. But I can feel the penetrating glaze of these eyes coming from the keyhole and landing on my back! Why do these pair of eyes spy on me? Why can’t it reveal itself to me? Does this pair of eyes pride itself on being a casual observer? Does it feel great power to watch my antics, my behavior and then draw its little conclusions about me?
How dare does this pair of eyes dare think that it can know everything about me?

Ha! This pair of eyes that observe me does not realize that I am actively observing it as well. I gather lots of secret information about its habits….

Being observed isn’t as bad as it seems. Some days I feel sort of special, that this pair of eyes makes it a point to observe. But then some days, I am in brutal conflict.

What if this pair of eyes that watches me is not the same pair of eyes that I want to watch me. What if this pair of eyes is something different, something ugly, something that I do not want at all?

Uggh … I shudder at that thought. These thoughts keep me up all night. I am loosing beauty sleep over this. The best way to put an end to this problem once and for all is to examine the eye up close. And this can only be done by plucking the eye out.

I suppose plucking out one’s eye can seem a bit harsh. But you see my darling diary the pair of eyes that observe me is very cruel because it leaves me in a state of HORRIBLE ANXIETY not knowing who these eyes are!!!
Examining that one plucked eye is the only way my heart can rest in peace. I think I can tell by the size of the eyeball and the color of it, whose eye it is.

My shiny silver scissors will come in very handy. Next time, I feel that the eyes are performing its routine observations on me, I shall PUSH my scissors into the keyhole at a 45 degree angle. In this way I can successfully remove the eye from the socket.

Examining this eye under bright light will tell me if this eye is the eye that I want watching me or whether it is just some random eye, whom I wouldn’t give 2 hoots about.

Oh dear Diary!! I know what you are thinking if this pair of eyes is the eyes that I want observing me, then how can it continue its observations if I have plucked out one eye. Oh you silly silly diary......
You see dear diary, you have answered your own question.

It is only one eye that I plan to pluck out. It can observe me perfectly well with the other eye, which I shall leave intact. So now let me go and begin the preparations of catching the eye of the observer that observes me......

- Anastasia.

View all of Anastasia Video Diary Entries by clicking here

Rob Zombie's House of a 1000 Corpses

2006-05-29T13:21:00.000-04:00

I saw Rob Zombie's movie, House of a 1000 corpses (starring Sheri Moon, Sid Haig, Karen Black) thinking that it might be somewhat interesting like most of his colorful cartoon-like album covers and music videos.
What I realized is that Rob Zombie should just stick to drawing, give up filmmaking and screenplay writing, since he basically sucks at it. Yup, he sure does.....here is why...

The first 10 minutes of the film was good, despite the weak script to support it. The old man and the clown shooting the robbers was rather amusing. Especially the line when the old man suddenly asked the robber "hey didn't you work at the hardware store". That was the only best line in the whole movie.
The banter between the nerdy guy and clown discussing his book about Road Trips, was worthy to note.

The clown character appeared to be interesting at first, however his script was weak. He was cursing the "F" word in almost every sentence. Somehow this made him look more normal and less sinister. Since cursing today is something that even regular office people do, it is no longer taboo or cool.

I don't have anything against cursing. I enjoyed watching Dennis Hopper in the movie "Unspeakable" where he played a prison warden. In one scene, he went on a tirade of cursing before he died. This was an excellent performance by Dennis Hopper, and the cursing was done magnificently. Brava!

The young people that were taking the road trip did not have well-developed characters. What was up with the girlfriends of the guys on the road trip? One girl kept doing eyeball rolls. I understand that Rob was trying to show that the girl was very annoyed at her boyfriend's antics and very critical of the clown people. But the expressions on her face were redundant and un-interesting to watch. Why did it take her so long to die anyway?? Perhaps they should have made her more neurotic or hyper. I mean did Rob Zombie cast these actors. Is this how he wanted them to act? Without no character?

In addition to that, the technique and the direction were horrible. Rob Zombie never let the story flow. He kept interrupting it with flashy special effects, mixed in with older horror movie scenes. These effects are good when used once or twice, but are certainly useless when used constantly throughout the movie. It sort of distracts the viewer and it's easy to loose sight of the story and what the characters are saying. If anything these flashy scenes looked like part of a music video. Rob Zombie should have just made several music videos then.

In terms of the characters and plot. There was no plot and the characters were all unoriginal. I give Rob Zombie credit in that he has taken the time to watch lots of B movies, horror 70 movies and many movies that are actually very good with great characters and plots. Most people shun movies like that. But hey Rob, is it absolutely necessary, to lift certain scenes from these movies you see, re-enact them, and mush them together to form your movie??? Many scenes were like that. For instance the members of the macabre family sitting around the table, looked like a direct copy of chainsaw massacre.

The scene that consisted of a dude cutting the guy who wore specs with the razor, while the blonde girl was dancing to music. That was a direct copy from Reservoir Dogs where Michael Madsen was cutting off the dude's ear and dancing to music. The only difference was that Michael Madsen acted that part much better.
Also the scene where the annoying eyeball rolling girl finally escaped and ran onto some deserted road and hitchhiked her way, was a direct cut from Chainsaw Massacre where the girl also ran out onto a similar road in a similar setting.

I mean there is nothing wrong if you are inspired by horror movies and want to make something similar. But this just didn't come off well. He directly copied scenes and didn't make any alterations to give it a new twist. There were too many re-enactments of older movies slammed together. And since Rob movies mashed it with too many flashy special effects, it just seemed like a video game after a while.

The camera was never steady; nor was it ever quiet to hear what was going on. But then again nothing was going on, so Rob just played his music over lots of ripped off scenes.
In terms of horror, this movie wasn't scary one bit. Just too much scary music playing, but no real built up suspense scenes. Just cutting here and there, but nothing that suited my fancy.

My tip to Rob Zombie is to stick to drawing and producing still images. The camera is no place for you buddy boy!!!! Perhaps Rob Zombie was just surrounded by his usuall group of lackeys and Kiss Assers that he failed to see his mistakes. After all kissing ass, can really dis-illusion a person.

Not to mention the fact, that I still find it particularly odd that he fired all his old band mates(including his ex-girlfriend Sean Yesult) from White Zombie to form his new band Rob Zombie. Rob Zombie lacked the zest that White Zombie had. What happened to the heavy bass sounds you used to hear before? I bet he didn't want to pay his old band mates equally, and thought he can make his music and get all the profits. It was tolerable that he thought he can make his music alone but to think he can make a "cult" movie alone!!!! Get off your high horse, boy!

Today, Rob Zombie is considered a "great filmmaker" and was interviewed by Eddie Elephant Trunk of VH1 Classics. Eddie Elephant just fawned over his "great movies" and his great music videos. I saw his latest music video "foxy foxy". He should just call it "slutty slutty". He made it a point that he wanted to use friends and show women as real and not as "models".

Well, maybe these women look good in other scenarios, but in this video these women were made to look quite plain like the average slut you would find in a bar. They had very standard boring expressions on their faces. Nothing interesting or breath-taking. It's like watching MTV's real world set to music. If Rob Zombie is making such a boring looking video, at least feature beautiful and glamorous women then!
Robert Palmer had the right idea for he featured beautiful drones in his video.

Now Rob Zombie can't even do good music videos anymore. I suppose showing plain woman, with bland expressions entices insecure guys/girls to watch it. Simply because they don't feel autmatically rejected/jealous of these women.
Examples of women with interesting facial expressions is Siouxsie
and the Banshees. Even though she might not be the most beautiful lady in the world, her facial expressions, and mannerisms make her music videos very enticing, sexy and quite glamourous to watch.

So Rob Zombie if you like horror movies here are some movies that I recommend. My advise to you is to study the characters, the story lines, the camera angles, and also the LACK of flashy special effects. In this way you concentrate on the plot and really get into the story.
My is list is as follows:
Dead Alive (aka Brain Dead, from New Zealand, 1992)- Excellent characters, excellent plot
Re-Animator (based on HP love craft's novel, 1985) - Plot flowed, with lots of suspense, Loved the scientist character
Tenebre (Dario Argento director, from Italy, 1982) - good suspense build up
Sisters (Brian DePalma, 1973) - interesting story with suspense
Frailty (director Bill Paxton, 2001) - Good story, with good characters)
Night of the Living Dead (George Romero, 1968) - Very interesting to watch the story unfold
A Most Particularly Peculiar Bank Heist (Ms. Divine) - A comedy/drama one-lady sketch film done in a most unusuall style.

And my final recommendation of a particularly scary, horror movie that will make you quiver is Blood Sucking Freaks. I guarantee that if Rob zombie watches this, he will become a frightened white zombie. Heheheheee.

Anastasia Misses Her Pet

2006-05-15T21:49:00.000-04:00

"The Hands"

Click here to play Video Diary

Dear Diary,
I have some terrible news to bring you. You see, my darling beloved diary, as I peered out of the blinds this morning, I saw a strange set of black hands beneath my window tying up the garbage bags. The familiar hands that I was so used to seeing all these years were not there. These strange new hands are different.
The hand itself is much smaller and attached to it are these small chubby fingers. It is so clumsy you will not believe it.

Something has gone wrong!
The familiar hands that I am so used to seeing were much bigger with longer thinner fingers attached to it. Oh........ but don’t get me wrong dear diary, I am open to change and new things in my life. But these new strange hands are just doing everything WRONG!
It’s trying the garbage bags all wrong. It’s not putting enough garbage into the garbage bags and as a result, the garbage bags have too many air pockets.

But those familiar hands that I had grown quite fond of always did this task oh so precisely. Those familiar hands would vigorously shove twice the amount of garbage into the garbage bag and as a result there were no air pockets. It would then tie tight knots at the end of the garbage bag, resulting in a horizontal oval shape. The familiar hands would then violently throw the perfectly identical stuffed garbage bags unto a rusty cart. But no matter how violently these hands behaved, it always had excellent aim!

At the end of the day, I would see neat stacks of garbage bags, perfectly and oh so precisely aligned, stacked one on top of each other. Never in my life have I seen such a glorious and beautiful sight such as this before. What a magnificent piece of art!!

However, no magnificent piece of art no matter how elegant it is is not complete until it has the artist’s signature on it. It is then that I see a giant glob of spit rise high up into the air and land in the middle of the stacked garbage bags. It is then that I know that this exquisite piece of art is finally completed.

The sun’s rays would shine on the glob of spit radiating a lovely warm beam. I suspect that the glob of spit belonged to the mouth of these familiar hands. Oh but these familiar hands are no more. They have ceased to exist.

This set of new hands is so disturbing! The garbage bags look like garbage bags on the rusty cart. It doesn’t look like the beautiful piece of art that I am so used to seeing. And to top it off, there is no glob of beautiful spit.

What a set of pathetic hands these new hands are!!! Gently placing the garbage bags on the cart as if it’s a new born baby.
I hate this new set of hands that I see beneath my window. I’ve got to figure out a way to get rid of this set of new hands, so that maybe the familiar hands can come back.

Perhaps an axe with a sharp blade might be the solution. This axe can slice these strange new hands off. If there are no more new hands, then there will be no more badly tied garbage. Then perhaps those familiar hands would have to come back. Things will be normal again. I can watch the beautiful piece of artwork get created before me.
And most of all, I can live happily ever after.

- Anastasia.

View all of Anastasia Video Diary Entries by clicking here

The Jeff Lorber Show

2006-05-07T22:15:00.001-04:00

Has anybody ever seen the Jeff Lorber Show aka as Jeff Lorber's Model Call on Queens Public TV (QPTV).

Jeff Lorber is a really weird looking guy, with a crooked face, big glasses, and huge teeth that tend to come out of his mouth from time to time. He stands in different neighborhoods with a sign, which reads "Jeff Lorber's Model Call", and tries desperately to get all girls passing on the road to model for his show.

This desperation starts to get humorous, as you keep seeing close ups of this guy's strange face, followed by his ramblings. At times he carries this giant bra and gets people to touch it and do silly things with it. Sometimes it’s a bit boring, but sometimes lots of funny things happen.

It's sort of like an improv where just about everything is done spontaneously.

However, whatever information I looked up for Jeff Lorber was all negative. Many people seemed outraged that he actually had his own TV show that reached many viewers. Their common comments were "how does a guy like that, get on TV' or "That guy is really pathetic", "Jeff Lorber is mentally disturbed".

Well thank God a guy like that got on Public Access TV!! Jeff Lorber is not pathetic but is apathetic to the people that are near him, as he bulldozes himself around with his large sign that reads "Jeff Lorber's Model Call".

Is Jeff Lorber really mentally disturbed? Well it's hard to say who is and who isn't in this world. I've always thought the mentally disturbed were the beings that glorify shows such as "Big Sluts in the City", "You have No Enthusiasm because you are a whining old bald man", and "Fatso's eating spaghetti". Aaaah.... Can u guess what shows I am talking about?

But anyway, let me not stray away from the point, I shall discuss those un-original shows and the steady decline of quality entertainment on mainstream Television in another blog entry.

The Jeff Lorber Show is truly unique in that it is the Jeff Lorber Show. Nobody could copy it, because Jeff Lorber has his own trademark, his own uniqueness and his own personality. His jokes don't follow any standard formula as seen on Comedy Central. He just rambles and gets really excited over the things he says. So if you are used the standard, the mundane and the boring and don’t' have eye to pick out the amusing, the interesting and the odd, then the Jeff Lorber Show is not for you.

My favorite scene from the Jeff Lorber show is as follows -
He clumsily attempts to put money in a parking meter while still holding this giant bra. He starts saying something sarcastic to the effect of
"Yeah, Bloomberg is really good, he lets us do this..."
as he toys with the parking meter. Then he gets completely distracted and pauses in mid sentence as 3 hasidic jews round the corner walking robotically in unison.

They were wearing, a yamaoka (that thing on their head) and the white straps (religious threads) dangling from under their shirts. He appeared to be excited and kind of amused at their appearance.

He shouts out in glee "Hey, look I could put something on my head too".
He then puts the giant bra on his head and points excitedly "Look at me, I could be like you!"

He says it in a very comical manner. The 3 hasidic jews walked briskly but paused 0.1 of a second to look.

Suddenly Jeff Lorber gets a bit scared and very somberly says quickly to the camera "Oops, I can get into trouble for that one!"

That was the best improv I have seen him do on the show so far. I laugh to this day when I play back that little scene in my big head.

Other funny things that Jeff Lorber has said were

"I've been unemployed for 15 years"

"I haven't been on a date for 6 years"

Another funny incident from his show occurred at the over-rated Victoria Secrets store. By the way, it's completely ridiculous to spend 50 bucks on an undergarment unless you are super rich or you feel like furnishing the salary of the un-talented Tyra Banks. Wrapping oneself in aluminum foil is a much more appealing and glamorous look..

Anyway, the guard at this very over-rated Victoria Secret underwear Store ushered Jeff Lorber out of the parking lot because he tried to talk to a cardboard Mannequin to be on his show. hehee.

A while back, I have stumbled into stores after too much wine and struck up conversations with various mannequins about how expensive the garments are. Talking to inanimate objects is a very enjoyable experience.

Aside from that, a very beautiful model girl (Lana Piryan) comes on his show regularly. Her character doesn't speak English and she screams and shouts at Jeff Lorber, and to people on the street in a different language. She too is very funny and is good at comedic improvisations. I wonder what ever happened to Lana?

Anyway, Jeff Lorber also has a nerdy guy who frequents the show regularly with a rubber chicken that he carries. This guy gets beaten by the beautiful model girl with the rubber chicken.

I wonder what happened to Jeff Lorber. All his shows are repeats. I wonder if he is dead?

Because I could not find any pictures of the Jeff Lorber Show, I did a little cartoon sketch of his show just for fun.

Jeff Lorber's Model Call

Standing from left to right:
Jeff Lorber, Beautiful Model Girl(Lana Piryan aka Piriyan), Nerdy guy with rubber chicken.
His show Airs Weekly on Queens Public Television (mainly repeats)

Also if you do enjoy watching Queens Public TV, why not check out my show as well.
The name of it is Ms. Divine's Tee Hee Heure Its a one lady sketch comedy variety show.
It airs weekly

SHOWTIMES on PUBLIC ACCESS

Queens Public TV (QPTV)
Wednesdays -- 10:30PM -- Chn 35
Verizon Fios 35, RCN 83, TWC 35

Wednesdays -- 05:30PM -- Chn 56
Verizon Fios 36 , RCN 84, TWC 56

Brooklyn Public TV (BCAT)
Mondays -- 6:30PM -- Chn 34
Verizon 42, RCN 82, Cablevision 67

Manhattan Network TV (MNN)
Mondays -- 10:30PM -- Chn 67
Verizon 36, RCN 85, TWC 67

Visit my website for more details about me.
Click here for QPTV's official program guide

Anastasia's Obsession

2006-05-05T22:24:00.000-04:00

"The Icelandic Diary"

Click here to play Video Diary

Dear Diary,
The Icelandic Language is a very very complicated language and I do not understand it at all.
It consists of a series of letters all thrown in together as if it is supposed to make some sort of sense. In fact if I were to speak in the Icelandic language it would sound, as if I have some sort of seizure and I am unable to breathe!! That is how hard it is to pronounce words in the Icelandic Language.

For instance – If I were to translate the English sentence

“I like to eat custard pies “

The Icelandic Translation would be:

Þá steig að sjá borgina og turninn

As you can see, it sounds as if I was having some sort of seizure and was unable to breathe.

But anyway, enough of all this.......
You see, not too long ago, I came across a diary of a strange man written in the Icelandic Language. In order to un-earth this man’s deep dark secrets, I have to painstakingly translate each Icelandic diary to the English Language. This has only been one HORRIBLE disaster.

In his latest Icelandic entry he writes -

Drottinn niður til þess um alla jörðina

Once again, it sounds like complete gibberish. And again it sounds like as if I was having some sort of seizure or some sort of trouble breathing as I read it.
Anyway, after spending all day translating this horrible diary entry I get an even stranger English Translation

He writes:

“I the Frog-Man awoke with despoliation desultory.”

Or maybe he wrote

“I the Frog-Man awoke with desultory despoliation”

It's hard to tell from the translation.
But it doesn't matter, because first of all what kind of man begins his diary entry with “I the Frog Man”!!!
And what on earth does "Desultory" and "Despoliation" mean.

This is so unfair. After spending hours and hours brooding over this man's horrible Icelandic Entry and painstakingly translating each word from his diary into English, I end up with an English sentence that consists of huge words of which I still cannot understand.
It looks like I need an English dictionary to translate what these big words mean!!!

This is so unfair and to top it off I still have not unearthed any dark secrets of this strange man, except lots of sentences with mumbo jumbo words.
Perhaps the only way to end my obsession with this man’s Icelandic diary is to get rid of the man himself. If there is no man, then there would be no Icelandic diary entry and thus my obsession with him will be gone as well......

Poison has always been a VERY VERY GOOD option.
With him gone, I shall once again be free of this strange man and his strange mumbo jumbo sentences in his Icelandic Diary. Not only that, but I believe that his pain and suffering shall be my pleasure.

Soon, I shall be free, because never again will I have to be bothered with the complexities of this horrible Icelandic language, for this man will be dead very very soon.

Anastasia

View all of Anastasia Video Diary Entries by clicking here

Antasasia Introduces Herself

2006-04-28T22:19:00.000-04:00

"I am Anastasia"

Click here to play Video Diary

Dear Diary,
Today shall be my first entry to you - my darling beloved diary. I thought it best to introduce myself after all, I do not want to come off as a cold stranger to you. My name is Anastasia and I am from Southern Siberia.
Did you not know that Southern Siberia existed? How could you not know? What use are you to me?
If you must know Southern Siberia, is the hottest part of the coldest part of hell. You pathetic foolish diary! Southern Siberia is a cold hell!!!

Oh my beloved diary, I did not mean to spit on you like that. I am so sorry for ruining your beautiful pages. It's just that it really bothers me when people cannot understand where it is that I am from.

My world is not normal, too abnormal for the normal person to understand.....
Oh but don't feel left out my darling diary, I shall tell you everything. You are my one true friend - ever so patient and oh so generous in giving me the honor of writing on your beautiful pages. And write on I will! I shall tell you everything - all my deepest and darkest secrets shall be your knowledge, my dear diary...

Anastasia

View all of Anastasia Video Diary Entries by clicking here

North Carolina Pig Killings (Bloody Murder)

2006-04-23T23:15:00.000-04:00

Before going to bed, I like to watch something funny on TV or read something nice – just so that I can have deep restful beauty sleep with sweet dreams.

However after flipping around, I came across a show called Under Cover TV on Queens Cable Access. They were filming the abuse of farm animals, more specifically the pigs in North Carolina.

It was a big pig farm, with pigs in cramped conditions, and many suffering from diseases. Seeing the agony of these pigs was very sad.
Then they later showed 2 Red Neck guys (Southern dum-looking dudes)in flannel shirts, dragged a pig out, and bludgeoning it to death.

I flipped away, because it was just too much for me. But still felt that I needed to watch it. I normally have no problem watching horror movies, and have even watched the 70’s gore movie “Blood Sucking Freaks” with no problem.

But this was too much for me, because it was REAL and to just put myself in the piggy’s shoes was just so unbearable. I continued to watch it.
One of the redneck guys, started hacking at the pigs neck with this metal pipe thing, while the other guy held the pigs legs with a steel wire mesh contraption.
The pig let out these chilling blood-curdling screams of fright, anger and pain. It put up a good fight, because I believe a 3rd guy had to join in. They then dragged the pig out and started hacking it even more, while the blood just oozed out.

Then finally the pig stopped fighting but was still alive. The rednecks started kicking and stomping on it. Then they proceeded to skin it alive. As they slowly started to peel the skin off its back, I saw the pig shake its head. The pig was still conscious but at this time completely drained of energy that it could no longer put up a fight except to meagerly move its head in agony. Poor poor thing…

The disturbing thing about this was that the rednecks took great pleasure in exercising such cruelty to this poor pig. You can see these guys glowing with glee and pride as they placed each violent bloody blow upon this pig.

They obviously felt a remarkable sense of power and authority to be causing so much PROLONGED pain and suffering to this animal.
Obviously some sort of terrible imprinting must have occurred to these rednecks probably from childhood to behave in this manner. But these Red Necks struck me as cowards, they enjoyed killing but wouldn’t dare kill a human, thus a defenseless pig becomes their target.
I suddenly realized that this disturbing behavior exhibited by these rednecks was actually quite similar to Tobe Hooper’s ChainSaw Massacre (The First one).

Anyway it turns out that this pig abuse occurred in the year 1999 and those guys were supposedly convicted.
But who knows what goes on today even in regulated government farms. I am sure the abuse just keeps coming and one would never know.

I have decided to quote from the book Homeopathic Care for Small Animals, written by the Veterinarian Don Hamilton, where the author describes his feelings towards animals. I only wish that more people could feel this way.

I ask that you begin to cultivate an “I-thou” relationship with your companion animals, with wilderness, with strangers. We simply cannot guess their value to us, a value that in some ways parallels their independence from us. Domestication has benefited humans and non-humans greatly and will always do so. But we must see thus creatures who live in our midst not as a replacement for their wild cousins, but as a connection to the wild. Let us never forget our roots- not just the long-ago ancestors we call prehistoric humans, but the wilderness from whence we arose. If we ever cut ourselves apart from wilderness, we will no longer be human….
Don Hamilton
Homeopathic Care for Cats and Dogs

Home Is Where the Hart Is

2006-04-21T21:28:00.000-04:00

Home is Where The Hart is (1987)
Director Rex Bromfield

I was browsing a book that boasted a huge database of movies including plot summaries and actors.
I decided to look up some of my favorite movies to see what the movie reviewer said about.

One movie that I looked up is called “Home is Where the Hart is”.
In the book, the movie reviewer reviewed it to be ”very bizarre”, “avoid it at all costs, “very very bad farce.’
Note: He repeated the word “very” twice. Did he think he was witty for doing that? He fails to realize he is just a shitty. And since when, is being bizarre so bad?

Thus if a shitty can give a movie review, then a witty such as me can express my opinion on this wonderful movie.

2 elderly gentleman, investigate their father’s suspicious death. During their investigation, they encounter a very aggressive nurse who desperately tries anything to inherit their father’s billions. Other characters that they encounter are a Sheriff (played by Leslie Nielson) who can’t get over that a nun robbed the 2 elderly gentleman’s car.

This movie had great comedic dialog. That’s something that is very hard to find in today’s comedic movies.
The dialog was long and winded and had so many subtle not so obvious jokes in it. As a result, the comedy flowed very smoothly and often times spontaneously.
This is a slow-paced movie and requires the audience member to pay attention to detail. I found myself laughing during many parts of the movies, just because I was able to pick out various funny things in the movie.

Most of the generic comedy movies that come by the dozen today, marketed primarily as blockbuster movies have too many punch line jokes, where the comedy is forced and too fast-moving followed by loud unnecessary sound-effects. If they are not doing that, then it’s some “parody” where none of the characters are acting as a character. They act their roles in a mocking and artificial way.

The comedy movies that comes to mind that are an example of what I am talking about is Mike Myers in Austin Powers, Starsky and hutch, (I can think of a million others, but my fingers will hurt if I type them all out)
There is no story, no plot, just people trying to “parody” and it ends up resembling those latest horrible sketches on Saturday Night Live.

Home is where the Hart is, does not do that. It enticed me by piquing my curiosity and I eagerly watched this story slowly unravel.

LESLIE NIELSON

Leslie Neilson acted very well. He is well known for his role in the Naked Gun movies. But Leslie Neilson was around much longer than that. He is actually an old time actor and has been acting since the 1950’s.

I think that is why his acting abilities are so good, because in the olden times, they actually hired good actors who spoke well and were dramatic unlike the new actors today who have blank expressions and whining voices.

He played the role of a sheriff whose duty was to analyze the evidence, study the facts, and solve the murder case. He did all this in a very subtle funny way, and not in an exaggerated artificial way. He acted as his character!

VALRI BROMFIELD
Another character that I was impressed with was the aggressive lady who was plotting to get the old man’s inheritance. The name of the actress is Valri Bromfield from Canada. She actually performed on the first episode of Saturday Night Live. But that was in the day when guys like Dan Akroyd, James Belushi were part of the crew.

Not only, have I hardly ever come across any female actresses who have played the role of a tough girl successfully, but to find a female character that is well developed and interesting is a rarity. Not only that, but there were no nude scenes nor vulgar jokes!! This only added to the richness of the movie and made it even more appealing to me.

VALRI BROMFIELD
I apologize for this unflattering picture of Valri Bromfield. But I could not find any pictures of her, except this screen shot of her performance in the movie Needful Things. But its still a nice picture, full of emotion and makes her an even more interesting actor to watch.

I don’t know if this lady acts in bad movies now. But she played that role really well, and should get some sort of reward for it. She also starred as the detective in Who framed Harry Crumb. And also was the one who supposedly introduced Dan Aykroyd to John Candy (another favorite comedic actor of mine).

One of my favorite scenes was when she harassed the 2 old men, who tried to confront her about their father’s murder. She grabbed them by their ties, and sent them spinning. It was very funny.

So in conclusion, I would summarize this movie as an interesting adventure, featuring an assortment of well-developed characters, a wonderful plot which all adds up to one VERY VERY funny movie to watch!!!!!

So maybe one day, when my sketch movie gets featured in some book or newspaper, where the reviewer hates it, because he can’t see beyond the sketchiness of it, nor enjoy watching the characters, perhaps some person out there might write a positive review of my sketch film in their blogger….

MOMA Store

2006-04-21T21:25:00.000-04:00

I was on a date with myself, enjoying the day by taking a romantic stroll with myself and watching the various sights before me.

I decided to take a look around the MOMA store. (Museum of Modern Art) It's a big store located in Downtown, manhattan in the district of SOHO.

I came across the head of a GIANT orange mop sitting on the display counter. The description tag described it as a cotton pillow so soft and comfortable, priced at $385. I put my hand on it. Rough Pillow! I thought. Then I touched it again giving it a slight punch. Still Rough. Nothing comfy about this pillow.

The sales girl let out a giggle. She appeared to be amused at my reactions. I had no idea I was being watched.

She then points to a locked glass case with jewelry. It looked like a long string attached to several black buttons but was classified as a necklace and bracelet.

She said, “This is $175. You know what my cat would do if I bring something like this home - She would attack me, and rip it off”

I laughed. How true… This necklace was exactly what I would use to play with my cat.

I suggested that it might be fun to make something similar to the necklace with strings and buttons to use as a cat toy. She was excited by that idea and laughed as I gestured with my hand how to play with the cat.

I eventually left the store bidding her a very good evening. She seemed disappointed I was leaving. Maybe she hoped that I can stay and amuse her some more by talking about the items in the store.

I’m glad I brightened somebody’s day…

The Dentist

2006-04-19T21:42:00.000-04:00

Today, me and another family member paid a visit to the dentist in my lovely neighborhood.

My dentist visit has always been quite unlike no other as I noticed that one of the patients waiting was a man with gold teeth and gold chains. Possibly an ex-convict? Who knows? Perhaps he was a current convict. But why bother find out...

My family member needed her dentures as well as her real teeth to be cleaned.

She asked: Doctor, these stains on my dentures just never go away even with the most expensive denture cleanser.

The Dentist replied: "Don't worry about, just take a knife and scrape the stains off. That's what I do.

She said: Oh but I don't want to break my dentures. I might break it.

He said: I am not telling you to stab it with a knife. (He starts to make these funny violent gestures as he pretended to stab the air). You want to stab, go on the main road and you see how they stab there!!!

I chuckled. Why the doctor is fully aware that he works in a neighborhood that is just not "good", and even knows the main road where most of the criminal activities occur. hehehee. hmmm.. Why am I chuckling? I live in this dump.... But hopefully not for long...

Another strange thing about the office, is that all the extra office supplies such as blank envelopes and stationary, were stored in the these makeshift shelves, all located in the toilet. I suppose when one is out of space, it's always best to maximize whatever current space is available. No?

The dentist then began cleaning the dentures with what looked like a kitchen knife.
While the dentist began this boring and tedious task, he and my family member struck up a long and funny conversation, probably just to amuse each other.

She said: Oh doctor, but why is it so stained. How do I stop it?

The dentist replied: It looks like you are having too much tea and coffee, and its staining the dentures too much.

She exclaimed: oh but I can't do without my tea and coffee.

As he scraped away more debris,
He replied: Then remove your dentures while you drink.

She said: hahahhah, I can't take out my teeth like that.

Dentist: hahhaha, that's true, then put more milk in your tea and coffee.

She said: But who wants to drink milky coffee and milky tea, plus I don't use milk. I use coffee creamer, because of my cholesterol problems.

Dentist laughs.

She said: What about this stain, it just never comes off.

Dentist replies: It's the way the plastic is, I can't do anything about it. But I have some stronger new dentures that in the future you can think about it.

She said: Strong dentures?

Dentist: Yes, look at this.

He removes one of the dentures on display and violently throws it on the floor.
"See it doesn't break"

"Wow! Ooooooooh....", she exclaimed.

The dentist picked up the dentures off the floor with an air of pride, probably because he admired himself at how he was successfully promoting these new dentures.

"How much are they?" She asked.

He replied: "2000 dollars".

She exclaimed: "aaaaahahahhh... I will think about it in the next 2 years when I get $2000"

As this banter continued, a patient waiting in the room, started to get very fidgety and shake its head. This patient was a walk in, and had no appointment. It kept getting increasingly agitated as it heard the conversation. Was this patient so dumb, that it did not realize that the dentist was busy scraping the dentures WHILE he was talking? Of course, it was dumb, for it was simply yet another insignificant object that had wondered off these dirty streets into the office.

Then the dentist had finally finished scraping the dentures and asked my family member:
"Are you going to get your teeth cleaned as well".

She said: "Well I am here , aren't I? I may as well. But I hardly have any teeth, but clean it anyway"

Then they proceeded into the little dental room.

Again, this impatient patient started to shake its head, groan and appear as if it was going to die, simply because my family member needed her teeth cleaned. Then it promptly pulled out its' cell phone and started yapping probably to a current convict (who knows these days) and said:
"I still waiting for dat dentist. But somebady, be taking up allll da dentist's time. Somebody be taking up all da dentist time like dat".

It spoke loudly, bitterly and deliberately hoping that I would hear it.

Hmmm.. I thought to myself, this impatient patient, is not even grateful that its getting the entire dentist visit free of charge as it owned one of those magic cards that gives you free doctor's visit and a whole bunch of other free goodies. It seemed to believe that it was "privileged" and we should leave without getting complete services, even though we paid full fees and had appointments.

Or perhaps it just thought, that we paid full fees, just to chat with the dentist while he did no work on this family's member's teeth or dentures. Who knows how the ignorant thinks?

When the dentist was finished. My family member came out beaming, pleased that her teeth and dentures were clean for the dentist did a good job. She pulled out her hard-earned money from her purse, paid and left.

As we walked out,
I said: "Did you notice that nasty patient who just kept shaking its head, even though you were getting your dentures cleaned, as if you are not allowed to talk"

"What patient?" she asked.

I then described to her what I noticed.

After listening, then my mother replied:
Don't worry about that, just forgive her darling. forgive her...

Kraftwerk: Pocket Calculator

2006-04-17T13:24:00.000-04:00

Not too long ago, I stumbled across Kraftwerk's computer world.
Upon listening to it, a few times, the song Pocket Calculator grew on me. I was inspired to do a mini-sketch film based on Kraftwerk's song, Pocket Calculator.

I used the sketch character that I created - The Russia Mafia Super who gets obssessed by a magical pocket calculator that appears before him. This calculator makes him feel powerful.

If you are interested, why not take a stroll to my website and download the video. Just click on this link:
Kraftwerk's Pocket Calculator

Here is the synopsis
Zach Schak!!! The Russian Mafia Super gets his hands on a magical Pocket Calculator. What does it do? What can it do? Does it do what it does? Or could it do what it can?

Details
Running Time:00:8:00 min
Credits: All work by Ms. Divine
Here are some clips from the sketch film:

Happy Easter

2006-04-16T22:03:00.000-04:00

Happy Easter everybody....

The Conductor

2006-04-14T22:02:00.000-04:00

Conductors are fascinating to watch. It was a 200 year old white haired conductor with huge black glasses that caught my fancy. It was his little stick, his prized possesion that kept my eyes glued to the tv. The way he waved it around, back and forth, side to side, as the entire orchestra played on. I then wondered if this conductor would still fascinate me, if he was not waving his stick?

At some points, these locks of white hair would fall into his face. That didn't deter him from conducting. Infact he seemed to be secretly pleased that his vigourous swaying had caused these white locks of hair to fall in front of his face. He certainly had done well today! I bet that's what he thought......

Ms.Divine Blogs

2006-04-12T21:37:00.000-04:00

So this is my blogger, let's see how long I can do this.