Friday, August 11, 2006

Anastasia Feels Constricted

"The Low Ceiling"

 Anastasia Feels Constricted – The Low Ceiling

Click here to play Video Diary

Dear Diary,
Something very strange has taken place, something that defies all sense of logic. As I went about my daily routine tasks, one of which includes staring at air, I made the most peculiar observation. The ceiling of my apartment was low, lower than usual. How could that be? Can a ceiling just move so quietly all by itself?

I know what you are thinking my darling beloved diary. You think I imagined it? Anastasia may have a good imagination but that does not mean she imagines things!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I apologize dear diary; I did not mean to beat you so badly.

Let me reason with you so you can understand where it is that I am coming from.
My ceiling was initially 12 feet above ground. Every week the ceiling has been lowering itself approximately by 1 foot. How do I know this you ask?
You see I do these breathing exercises that require me to jump very high in the air with my hands raised. I used to jump so freely without my hands touching the ceiling. But then after a while my hands began to slam the ceiling.

At first I didn’t think anything of it for I assumed that I was getting very good at jumping high. But then came a time, when I could barely raise my hands without slamming the ceiling.
I knew something was wrong but I didn’t want to tell you, my dear diary.
But today the situation is getting worse; the ceiling has gotten much lower. Now my head touches the ceiling!! Lifting my hands impossible…

I can still manage to move around but only in a very hunched position. I can no longer stare at air for I have no space.

I need to find out who lives above me. The residents upstairs must the ones who are pushing the ceiling down on me. How they do it, I will never know..
But for every problem, there must exist a solution. For if there is no solution then I choose to no longer exist.

I think this heavy second-hand rifle that I have acquired is going to solve my problem. Despite the fact that the barrel is rusty, it still is in excellent condition.
I shall start shooting the ceiling 3 times a day. In this way, I am bound to end the existence of whatever creature it is that is trying to push this ceiling down upon me.

The good thing to all of this is that each gunshot will create large holes in the ceiling. And if I keep shooting at a continuous rate, I soon shall have a giant hole for a ceiling.
Thus my apartment would now be twice the height than it was before. My new ceiling will be the ceiling of the apartment above me.

I can once again resume my daily tasks.
Not only can I freely jump again but I will also have twice the amount of air to stare at….


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