Anastasia Roams - They Long to Belong

Play Anastasia's Diary Entry

Dear Diary,
Today was just regular day in my life as I roamed the wilderness. The wilderness is not as frightening as it sounds. It’s a place of tranquility far away from human civilization.
While taking a stroll I heard a whimpering cry. It was a most familiar sound, but yet I couldn’t quite place my finger on it.
The sound got louder and louder, like an agonizing scream.
Ahhh--- that sound was from a human. It’s been so long since I’ve heard a human that I almost forgot what it sounds like. I peered behind the bushes and saw the human curled up in agony and writhing in pain.
Perhaps the human had fallen in a thorny bush. Thorns can be very painful. In Siberia, I was able to tolerate the thorns in my skin. But I am not the average human and I was convinced this human must be suffering because it was crying so loud.

“Hello human, what is the matter with you?” – I asked.

The human briefly looked up at me and then started to twist and turn in even more agony. I looked closer at the skin of this human. How odd? There were no wounds of the flesh. I concluded that no thorns had punctured the human. Then I noticed a branch of berries hanging above it.
Perhaps the human had eaten some sort of poisonous berry and was suffering from a tummy ache. I plucked a few berries and bit into it. Phhtttt… These were not the poisonous kind!!

The human then got up and and started to walk in circles. Then it dawned on me. This human was new here. It must have left the civilization and now that it is in the wilderness, it is unsure if it would still be persecuted.

“This is the wilderness darling. Nobody is going to persecute you. You are free to be who you are here” – I said.

Upon hearing my words, the human started to tremble with fear. Then it frantically pointed in the direction of the human civilization. I was stunned.

“You want to go back?” I asked.

The human eagerly nodded. How could I have assumed that a human can appreciate the freedom that exists in the great wilderness. After all it is only, I Anastasia that could enjoy the beauty here.

“Go straight and you will see the gates of the civilization.” I instructed it.

The human was motionless.

“Go! You long to belong don’t you? So go!” I screamed.

The human refused to thread thru the wilderness. It desperately needed someone to lead the way. Without a leader, it was confused. The human then started its cries of agony again. The cries were irritating and it wasn’t just me that was annoyed. The birds and other smaller animals were disturbed by this whining human.

I had no choice but to lead the way for I did not want this human’s cries to mar the peacefulness of this beautiful wilderness.

The human walked behind me like an obedient sheep. After walking a few hours, we finally approached the huge gates of the civilization.
This human must have accidentally wandered out of these gates. At this point the human was overjoyed at the sight of seeing its civilization.
Then it pushed me violently and ran desperately towards the gates.

“Yes, keep running you filthy human.“

Humans can be such selfish beings. An alarm went off. This human had alerted its leader that an intruder was near their gates. That intruder was I, Anastasia. Shots were being fired. I headed back to the wilderness. The humans did not follow me for they were too afraid of the wilderness and felt safe behind the gates.

I couldn’t recognize the human I had initially helped, for all the humans looked alike….like walking robots.
They stared at me behind the huge gates. The gates were mounted with shiny barbed wire and this surrounded the entire human civilization.

Why some choose to be imprisoned is something I can never understand. But just as I am questioning these humans they too must be baffled as to why I, Anastasia have chosen to live free.

Anastasia.


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Gary Numan Video Interview

I completed an hour video interview with the artist Gary Numan during his jagged tour.
This interview is available online at my site www.msdivine.net/garynuman Check it out, it also has many concert pictures of him performing live at Irving Plaza.

I alread aired this 1 hour interview with Gary Numan for my show Ms. Divine's Tee Hee Heure on qptv. If you are a resident of queens and you missed let me know for I will schedule it again.

Here are a few video stills from the interview. Gary Numan is a very pleasant person to speak with. The video interview covered a variety of topics, ranging from his latest album Jagged,his music, his family, cartoons and his pilot hobbies.

The Jeff Lorber Show

Has anybody ever seen the Jeff Lorber Show aka as Jeff Lorber's Model Call on Queens Public TV (QPTV).

Jeff Lorber is a really weird looking guy, with a crooked face, big glasses, and huge teeth that tend to come out of his mouth from time to time. He stands in different neighborhoods with a sign, which reads "Jeff Lorber's Model Call", and tries desperately to get all girls passing on the road to model for his show.

This desperation starts to get humorous, as you keep seeing close ups of this guy's strange face, followed by his ramblings. At times he carries this giant bra and gets people to touch it and do silly things with it. Sometimes it’s a bit boring, but sometimes lots of funny things happen.

It's sort of like an improv where just about everything is done spontaneously.

However, whatever information I looked up for Jeff Lorber was all negative. Many people seemed outraged that he actually had his own TV show that reached many viewers. Their common comments were "how does a guy like that, get on TV' or "That guy is really pathetic", "Jeff Lorber is mentally disturbed".

Well thank God a guy like that got on Public Access TV!! Jeff Lorber is not pathetic but is apathetic to the people that are near him, as he bulldozes himself around with his large sign that reads "Jeff Lorber's Model Call".

Is Jeff Lorber really mentally disturbed? Well it's hard to say who is and who isn't in this world. I've always thought the mentally disturbed were the beings that glorify shows such as "Big Sluts in the City", "You have No Enthusiasm because you are a whining old bald man", and "Fatso's eating spaghetti". Aaaah.... Can u guess what shows I am talking about?

But anyway, let me not stray away from the point, I shall discuss those un-original shows and the steady decline of quality entertainment on mainstream Television in another blog entry.

The Jeff Lorber Show is truly unique in that it is the Jeff Lorber Show. Nobody could copy it, because Jeff Lorber has his own trademark, his own uniqueness and his own personality. His jokes don't follow any standard formula as seen on Comedy Central. He just rambles and gets really excited over the things he says. So if you are used the standard, the mundane and the boring and don’t' have eye to pick out the amusing, the interesting and the odd, then the Jeff Lorber Show is not for you.

My favorite scene from the Jeff Lorber show is as follows -
He clumsily attempts to put money in a parking meter while still holding this giant bra. He starts saying something sarcastic to the effect of
"Yeah, Bloomberg is really good, he lets us do this..."
as he toys with the parking meter. Then he gets completely distracted and pauses in mid sentence as 3 hasidic jews round the corner walking robotically in unison.

They were wearing, a yamaoka (that thing on their head) and the white straps (religious threads) dangling from under their shirts. He appeared to be excited and kind of amused at their appearance.

He shouts out in glee "Hey, look I could put something on my head too".
He then puts the giant bra on his head and points excitedly "Look at me, I could be like you!"

He says it in a very comical manner. The 3 hasidic jews walked briskly but paused 0.1 of a second to look.

Suddenly Jeff Lorber gets a bit scared and very somberly says quickly to the camera "Oops, I can get into trouble for that one!"

That was the best improv I have seen him do on the show so far. I laugh to this day when I play back that little scene in my big head.

Other funny things that Jeff Lorber has said were

"I've been unemployed for 15 years"

"I haven't been on a date for 6 years"

Another funny incident from his show occurred at the over-rated Victoria Secrets store. By the way, it's completely ridiculous to spend 50 bucks on an undergarment unless you are super rich or you feel like furnishing the salary of the un-talented Tyra Banks. Wrapping oneself in aluminum foil is a much more appealing and glamorous look..

Anyway, the guard at this very over-rated Victoria Secret underwear Store ushered Jeff Lorber out of the parking lot because he tried to talk to a cardboard Mannequin to be on his show. hehee.

A while back, I have stumbled into stores after too much wine and struck up conversations with various mannequins about how expensive the garments are. Talking to inanimate objects is a very enjoyable experience.

Aside from that, a very beautiful model girl (Lana Piryan) comes on his show regularly. Her character doesn't speak English and she screams and shouts at Jeff Lorber, and to people on the street in a different language. She too is very funny and is good at comedic improvisations. I wonder what ever happened to Lana?

Anyway, Jeff Lorber also has a nerdy guy who frequents the show regularly with a rubber chicken that he carries. This guy gets beaten by the beautiful model girl with the rubber chicken.

I wonder what happened to Jeff Lorber. All his shows are repeats. I wonder if he is dead?

Because I could not find any pictures of the Jeff Lorber Show, I did a little cartoon sketch of his show just for fun.

Jeff Lorber's Model Call

Standing from left to right:
Jeff Lorber, Beautiful Model Girl(Lana Piryan aka Piriyan), Nerdy guy with rubber chicken.
His show Airs Weekly on Queens Public Television (mainly repeats)


Also if you do enjoy watching Queens Public TV, why not check out my show as well.
The name of it is Ms. Divine's Tee Hee Heure Its a one lady sketch comedy variety show.
It airs weekly

SHOWTIMES on PUBLIC ACCESS

Queens Public TV (QPTV)

Saturdays-- 07:00PM -- Chn 56
Verizon Fios 36, RCN 84, TWC 56

Sundays-- 01:30PM -- Chn 79
Verizon Fios 35, RCN 83, TWC 35
Brooklyn Public TV (BCAT)
Mondays -- 6:30PM -- Chn 34
Verizon 42, RCN 82, Cablevision 67

Manhattan Network TV (MNN)
Mondays -- 10:30PM -- Chn 67
Verizon 36, RCN 85, TWC 67

Visit my website at www.msdivine.net for more details about me.