Friday, April 28, 2006

Antasasia Introduces Herself

"I am Anastasia"

I am Anastasia - Anastasia introduces her self Click here to play Video Diary

Dear Diary,
Today shall be my first entry to you - my darling beloved diary. I thought it best to introduce myself after all, I do not want to come off as a cold stranger to you. My name is Anastasia and I am from Southern Siberia.
Did you not know that Southern Siberia existed? How could you not know? What use are you to me?
If you must know Southern Siberia, is the hottest part of the coldest part of hell. You pathetic foolish diary! Southern Siberia is a cold hell!!!

Oh my beloved diary, I did not mean to spit on you like that. I am so sorry for ruining your beautiful pages. It's just that it really bothers me when people cannot understand where it is that I am from.

My world is not normal, too abnormal for the normal person to understand.....
Oh but don't feel left out my darling diary, I shall tell you everything. You are my one true friend - ever so patient and oh so generous in giving me the honor of writing on your beautiful pages. And write on I will! I shall tell you everything - all my deepest and darkest secrets shall be your knowledge, my dear diary...

Anastasia

View all of Anastasia Video Diary Entries by clicking here

Sunday, April 23, 2006

North Carolina Pig Killings (Bloody Murder)

Before going to bed, I like to watch something funny on TV or read something nice – just so that I can have deep restful beauty sleep with sweet dreams.

However after flipping around, I came across a show called Under Cover TV on Queens Cable Access. They were filming the abuse of farm animals, more specifically the pigs in North Carolina.

It was a big pig farm, with pigs in cramped conditions, and many suffering from diseases. Seeing the agony of these pigs was very sad.
Then they later showed 2 Red Neck guys (Southern dum-looking dudes)in flannel shirts, dragged a pig out, and bludgeoning it to death.

I flipped away, because it was just too much for me. But still felt that I needed to watch it. I normally have no problem watching horror movies, and have even watched the 70’s gore movie “Blood Sucking Freaks” with no problem.

But this was too much for me, because it was REAL and to just put myself in the piggy’s shoes was just so unbearable. I continued to watch it.
One of the redneck guys, started hacking at the pigs neck with this metal pipe thing, while the other guy held the pigs legs with a steel wire mesh contraption.
The pig let out these chilling blood-curdling screams of fright, anger and pain. It put up a good fight, because I believe a 3rd guy had to join in. They then dragged the pig out and started hacking it even more, while the blood just oozed out.

Then finally the pig stopped fighting but was still alive. The rednecks started kicking and stomping on it. Then they proceeded to skin it alive. As they slowly started to peel the skin off its back, I saw the pig shake its head. The pig was still conscious but at this time completely drained of energy that it could no longer put up a fight except to meagerly move its head in agony. Poor poor thing…

The disturbing thing about this was that the rednecks took great pleasure in exercising such cruelty to this poor pig. You can see these guys glowing with glee and pride as they placed each violent bloody blow upon this pig.

They obviously felt a remarkable sense of power and authority to be causing so much PROLONGED pain and suffering to this animal.
Obviously some sort of terrible imprinting must have occurred to these rednecks probably from childhood to behave in this manner. But these Red Necks struck me as cowards, they enjoyed killing but wouldn’t dare kill a human, thus a defenseless pig becomes their target.
I suddenly realized that this disturbing behavior exhibited by these rednecks was actually quite similar to Tobe Hooper’s ChainSaw Massacre (The First one).

Anyway it turns out that this pig abuse occurred in the year 1999 and those guys were supposedly convicted.
But who knows what goes on today even in regulated government farms. I am sure the abuse just keeps coming and one would never know.

I have decided to quote from the book Homeopathic Care for Small Animals, written by the Veterinarian Don Hamilton, where the author describes his feelings towards animals. I only wish that more people could feel this way.


I ask that you begin to cultivate an “I-thou” relationship with your companion animals, with wilderness, with strangers. We simply cannot guess their value to us, a value that in some ways parallels their independence from us. Domestication has benefited humans and non-humans greatly and will always do so. But we must see thus creatures who live in our midst not as a replacement for their wild cousins, but as a connection to the wild. Let us never forget our roots- not just the long-ago ancestors we call prehistoric humans, but the wilderness from whence we arose. If we ever cut ourselves apart from wilderness, we will no longer be human….
Don Hamilton
Homeopathic Care for Cats and Dogs

Friday, April 21, 2006

Home Is Where the Hart Is

Home is Where The Hart is (1987)
Director Rex Bromfield


I was browsing a book that boasted a huge database of movies including plot summaries and actors.
I decided to look up some of my favorite movies to see what the movie reviewer said about.

One movie that I looked up is called “Home is Where the Hart is”.
In the book, the movie reviewer reviewed it to be ”very bizarre”, “avoid it at all costs, “very very bad farce.’
Note: He repeated the word “very” twice. Did he think he was witty for doing that? He fails to realize he is just a shitty. And since when, is being bizarre so bad?

Thus if a shitty can give a movie review, then a witty such as me can express my opinion on this wonderful movie.

2 elderly gentleman, investigate their father’s suspicious death. During their investigation, they encounter a very aggressive nurse who desperately tries anything to inherit their father’s billions. Other characters that they encounter are a Sheriff (played by Leslie Nielson) who can’t get over that a nun robbed the 2 elderly gentleman’s car.

This movie had great comedic dialog. That’s something that is very hard to find in today’s comedic movies.
The dialog was long and winded and had so many subtle not so obvious jokes in it. As a result, the comedy flowed very smoothly and often times spontaneously.
This is a slow-paced movie and requires the audience member to pay attention to detail. I found myself laughing during many parts of the movies, just because I was able to pick out various funny things in the movie.

Most of the generic comedy movies that come by the dozen today, marketed primarily as blockbuster movies have too many punch line jokes, where the comedy is forced and too fast-moving followed by loud unnecessary sound-effects. If they are not doing that, then it’s some “parody” where none of the characters are acting as a character. They act their roles in a mocking and artificial way.

The comedy movies that comes to mind that are an example of what I am talking about is Mike Myers in Austin Powers, Starsky and hutch, (I can think of a million others, but my fingers will hurt if I type them all out)
There is no story, no plot, just people trying to “parody” and it ends up resembling those latest horrible sketches on Saturday Night Live.

Home is where the Hart is, does not do that. It enticed me by piquing my curiosity and I eagerly watched this story slowly unravel.


LESLIE NIELSON

Leslie Neilson acted very well. He is well known for his role in the Naked Gun movies. But Leslie Neilson was around much longer than that. He is actually an old time actor and has been acting since the 1950’s.

I think that is why his acting abilities are so good, because in the olden times, they actually hired good actors who spoke well and were dramatic unlike the new actors today who have blank expressions and whining voices.





He played the role of a sheriff whose duty was to analyze the evidence, study the facts, and solve the murder case. He did all this in a very subtle funny way, and not in an exaggerated artificial way. He acted as his character!





VALRI BROMFIELD
Another character that I was impressed with was the aggressive lady who was plotting to get the old man’s inheritance. The name of the actress is Valri Bromfield from Canada. She actually performed on the first episode of Saturday Night Live. But that was in the day when guys like Dan Akroyd, James Belushi were part of the crew.

Not only, have I hardly ever come across any female actresses who have played the role of a tough girl successfully, but to find a female character that is well developed and interesting is a rarity. Not only that, but there were no nude scenes nor vulgar jokes!! This only added to the richness of the movie and made it even more appealing to me.

VALRI BROMFIELD
Valri Bromfield I apologize for this unflattering picture of Valri Bromfield. But I could not find any pictures of her, except this screen shot of her performance in the movie Needful Things. But its still a nice picture, full of emotion and makes her an even more interesting actor to watch.

I don’t know if this lady acts in bad movies now. But she played that role really well, and should get some sort of reward for it. She also starred as the detective in Who framed Harry Crumb. And also was the one who supposedly introduced Dan Aykroyd to John Candy (another favorite comedic actor of mine).

One of my favorite scenes was when she harassed the 2 old men, who tried to confront her about their father’s murder. She grabbed them by their ties, and sent them spinning. It was very funny.

So in conclusion, I would summarize this movie as an interesting adventure, featuring an assortment of well-developed characters, a wonderful plot which all adds up to one VERY VERY funny movie to watch!!!!!

So maybe one day, when my sketch movie gets featured in some book or newspaper, where the reviewer hates it, because he can’t see beyond the sketchiness of it, nor enjoy watching the characters, perhaps some person out there might write a positive review of my sketch film in their blogger….

MOMA Store

I was on a date with myself, enjoying the day by taking a romantic stroll with myself and watching the various sights before me.

I decided to take a look around the MOMA store. (Museum of Modern Art) It's a big store located in Downtown, manhattan in the district of SOHO.

I came across the head of a GIANT orange mop sitting on the display counter. The description tag described it as a cotton pillow so soft and comfortable, priced at $385. I put my hand on it. Rough Pillow! I thought. Then I touched it again giving it a slight punch. Still Rough. Nothing comfy about this pillow.

The sales girl let out a giggle. She appeared to be amused at my reactions. I had no idea I was being watched.

She then points to a locked glass case with jewelry. It looked like a long string attached to several black buttons but was classified as a necklace and bracelet.

She said, “This is $175. You know what my cat would do if I bring something like this home - She would attack me, and rip it off”

I laughed. How true… This necklace was exactly what I would use to play with my cat.

I suggested that it might be fun to make something similar to the necklace with strings and buttons to use as a cat toy. She was excited by that idea and laughed as I gestured with my hand how to play with the cat.

I eventually left the store bidding her a very good evening. She seemed disappointed I was leaving. Maybe she hoped that I can stay and amuse her some more by talking about the items in the store.

I’m glad I brightened somebody’s day…

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

The Dentist

Today, me and another family member paid a visit to the dentist in my lovely neighborhood.

My dentist visit has always been quite unlike no other as I noticed that one of the patients waiting was a man with gold teeth and gold chains. Possibly an ex-convict? Who knows? Perhaps he was a current convict. But why bother find out...

My family member needed her dentures as well as her real teeth to be cleaned.

She asked:
Doctor, these stains on my dentures just never go away even with the most expensive denture cleanser.

The Dentist replied: "Don't worry about, just take a knife and scrape the stains off. That's what I do.

She said:
Oh but I don't want to break my dentures. I might break it.

He said: I am not telling you to stab it with a knife. (He starts to make these funny violent gestures as he pretended to stab the air). You want to stab, go on the main road and you see how they stab there!!!

I chuckled. Why the doctor is fully aware that he works in a neighborhood that is just not "good", and even knows the main road where most of the criminal activities occur. hehehee. hmmm.. Why am I chuckling? I live in this dump.... But hopefully not for long...

Another strange thing about the office, is that all the extra office supplies such as blank envelopes and stationary, were stored in the these makeshift shelves, all located in the toilet. I suppose when one is out of space, it's always best to maximize whatever current space is available. No?

The dentist then began cleaning the dentures with what looked like a kitchen knife.
While the dentist began this boring and tedious task, he and my family member struck up a long and funny conversation, probably just to amuse each other.

She said: Oh doctor, but why is it so stained. How do I stop it?

The dentist replied:
It looks like you are having too much tea and coffee, and its staining the dentures too much.

She exclaimed:
oh but I can't do without my tea and coffee.

As he scraped away more debris,
He replied: Then remove your dentures while you drink.

She said: hahahhah, I can't take out my teeth like that.

Dentist: hahhaha, that's true, then put more milk in your tea and coffee.

She said: But who wants to drink milky coffee and milky tea, plus I don't use milk. I use coffee creamer, because of my cholesterol problems.

Dentist laughs.

She said: What about this stain, it just never comes off.

Dentist replies:
It's the way the plastic is, I can't do anything about it. But I have some stronger new dentures that in the future you can think about it.

She said: Strong dentures?

Dentist: Yes, look at this.

He removes one of the dentures on display and violently throws it on the floor.
"See it doesn't break"

"Wow! Ooooooooh....", she exclaimed.

The dentist picked up the dentures off the floor with an air of pride, probably because he admired himself at how he was successfully promoting these new dentures.

"How much are they?" She asked.

He replied: "2000 dollars".

She exclaimed: "aaaaahahahhh... I will think about it in the next 2 years when I get $2000"


As this banter continued, a patient waiting in the room, started to get very fidgety and shake its head. This patient was a walk in, and had no appointment. It kept getting increasingly agitated as it heard the conversation. Was this patient so dumb, that it did not realize that the dentist was busy scraping the dentures WHILE he was talking? Of course, it was dumb, for it was simply yet another insignificant object that had wondered off these dirty streets into the office.

Then the dentist had finally finished scraping the dentures and asked my family member:
"Are you going to get your teeth cleaned as well".

She said: "Well I am here , aren't I? I may as well. But I hardly have any teeth, but clean it anyway"

Then they proceeded into the little dental room.

Again, this impatient patient started to shake its head, groan and appear as if it was going to die, simply because my family member needed her teeth cleaned. Then it promptly pulled out its' cell phone and started yapping probably to a current convict (who knows these days) and said:
"I still waiting for dat dentist. But somebady, be taking up allll da dentist's time. Somebody be taking up all da dentist time like dat".

It spoke loudly, bitterly and deliberately hoping that I would hear it.

Hmmm.. I thought to myself, this impatient patient, is not even grateful that its getting the entire dentist visit free of charge as it owned one of those magic cards that gives you free doctor's visit and a whole bunch of other free goodies. It seemed to believe that it was "privileged" and we should leave without getting complete services, even though we paid full fees and had appointments.

Or perhaps it just thought, that we paid full fees, just to chat with the dentist while he did no work on this family's member's teeth or dentures. Who knows how the ignorant thinks?

When the dentist was finished. My family member came out beaming, pleased that her teeth and dentures were clean for the dentist did a good job. She pulled out her hard-earned money from her purse, paid and left.

As we walked out,
I said: "Did you notice that nasty patient who just kept shaking its head, even though you were getting your dentures cleaned, as if you are not allowed to talk"

"What patient?" she asked.

I then described to her what I noticed.

After listening, then my mother replied:
Don't worry about that, just forgive her darling. forgive her...

Monday, April 17, 2006

Kraftwerk: Pocket Calculator

Not too long ago, I stumbled across Kraftwerk's computer world.
Upon listening to it, a few times, the song Pocket Calculator grew on me. I was inspired to do a mini-sketch film based on Kraftwerk's song, Pocket Calculator.

I used the sketch character that I created - The Russia Mafia Super who gets obssessed by a magical pocket calculator that appears before him. This calculator makes him feel powerful.

If you are interested, why not take a stroll to my website and download the video. Just click on this link:
Kraftwerk's Pocket Calculator

Here is the synopsis
Zach Schak!!! The Russian Mafia Super gets his hands on a magical Pocket Calculator. What does it do? What can it do? Does it do what it does? Or could it do what it can?

Details
Running Time:00:8:00 min
Credits: All work by Ms. Divine
Here are some clips from the sketch film:

Sunday, April 16, 2006

Happy Easter

Happy Easter everybody....

Friday, April 14, 2006

The Conductor




Conductors are fascinating to watch. It was a 200 year old white haired conductor with huge black glasses that caught my fancy. It was his little stick, his prized possesion that kept my eyes glued to the tv. The way he waved it around, back and forth, side to side, as the entire orchestra played on. I then wondered if this conductor would still fascinate me, if he was not waving his stick?

At some points, these locks of white hair would fall into his face. That didn't deter him from conducting. Infact he seemed to be secretly pleased that his vigourous swaying had caused these white locks of hair to fall in front of his face. He certainly had done well today! I bet that's what he thought......

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Ms.Divine Blogs

So this is my blogger, let's see how long I can do this.